I dislike this feeling. I can't change certain things. I just wish I had more of a desire to take care of my hygeine, go out, and just have conversations with people. Yet I try so hard and can't get it right. I don't dress in a "normal" way either. I like my clothes to fit loose. I prefer comfort. Also I struggle to get ready. I need clothes i can just slip on. I get overwhelmed by too much to think about .I'm disorganized. It can cause meltdowns and shutdowns sometimes. I'll just get so overwhelmed that I freeze. My hands get numb. I feel spinning sensations.
I just wish I could learn easier, do things easier etc. I do things so slowly. It's partly why I didn't do so good in my last year of school. Id have shutdowns. I don't have any friends from school. People thought I was "weird". I feel so insecure because I want to not be perceived like that. Plus they'd think I'm "weird" now. People also don't understand that I have Autism and other things. They wouldn't understand why I haven't done a lot since high school. I just fell apart after high school. I wish I hadn't.
14 Feb 2025, 10:54 am
