How do I worry less and live more?

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I find myself being conflicted with things to do with comparing myself to others who have reached certain stages of life and feeling like I'm falling behind because of it, as well worrying as though I'm "nearing the end of life" despite being only in my 30s and worrying about certain types of health issues with risk factors due to age and literally looking at the age and attributing someone's problem I don't know to that age. I keep reminding myself of when my dad had a mini stroke in his late 40s, and one of granddads who had bowel cancer. I find myself also worrying about things that older men can get as they age like cancers of the prostate while at the same time being less worried of testicular cancer which can happen in young men and I check myself monthly. I don't know why this is happening now when a few years ago I still worried about things but not as almost obsessively like this. I don't know if becoming a hypochondriac or something.

I also want to enjoy my time now but it feels very hard when I'm seeing peers advancing, getting married and settling down when it still feels like it's only been in the last five to eight years that I'm "starting" since working and driving a car. Because it feels like other people are at different stages, it feels like the percentage of singletons is fading and worried about being much older where nearly every potential partner if I were to meet them in later life, most likely has been married, has grown up kids and grandkids in the same way as when my dad first met my stepmum.

Go out. Do things.

When all you do is sit at home alone with a handful of hobbies and little else to do, your mind has more than enough idle time to just ruminate and obsess about whatever is in your own head.

If you go out and find things to do, and fill your life with more experiences, you'll have less time to worry.

When all you do is sit at home alone, you lose touch with reality. Social media and movies and TV are not reality, and should not be mistaken for it. When all you do is sit at home alone, and social media is your only contact with society, all it does is fill your head with an unrealistic representation of what real-life is like.

People do a lot more than just go to bars and clubs, hook up, and party. But you'd never know that unless you go out to places other than bars and clubs, and meet people who are into more than partying and hooking up - and you have to go out into the world to find them, cos they're not on social media, they're out living their life.

Go places and do things, other than bars and clubs. Find out what YOU enjoy in life, not just what the social media machine says "everyone" does. Going out and doing things and living an active life will, ideally, both keep you engaged and entertained, and keep you from being isolated and obsessing about imaginary things - but also keep you healthier, cos you're doing more than just sitting around and consuming.

Everyone's life is different. Everyone does things at different stages. Life is not a sitcom where everyone pairs off by the age of 30, and anyone left is doomed to be a hermit. People find things, hobbies, passions, meaning, and people to share it with, at all stages in life. Stop worrying about it, and go out and do it.

I feel like the only one being bombarded by with worries some of which, are just unrealistic. I worry about other people because their lives have hit certain stages and feeling like I "should" catch up when I don't really want to, worrying about health problems and dying earlier because I look at age numbers and literally think the age itself causes the problems like heart attacks, strokes, cancers. It's scary because I found out not long ago that Olympian Chris Hoy has terminal prostate cancer in only his late 40s. He got it because his dad had it and grandad had it. My dad had a TIA (transient ischemic attack) I think at 48. He's 63 now and still going strong.

I've been reminded by some people who've said you don't want to look back later on and regret it spending worrying and not accepting myself. Someone even said you don't want to be at a certain age and then wishing you were the age you was 10 years previously. It's hard taking this advice on board without having these thoughts eating away at me.

Sounds like you need a big fat spliff and a Pink Floyd CD Chris..

I read a quote just now that made me think of your situation, chris.

"You're so in your own head, you can't even enjoy where you are."

Spend less time in your own head. DO things. External things. Things other than sitting around and thinking and worrying. Find a hobby, start a project, pursue some interests, learn a new skill - anything other than isolating and ruminating. Things to occupy your day and time and mind.

It's not like once everyone hits a certain age, they magically change into something else. Everyone moves at their own pace, and most people do their own thing. When it comes to health, everyone is different, and physical ailments aren't wired to a clock that makes them go off once you hit a certain age. How well you take care of yourself can greatly affect things, and even then, there's still just dumb luck. Regardless, sitting around worrying about it is just a waste of time. Either do something about your health to improve it, or just stop fretting and enjoy the time you've got, rather than worrying about silly things like "too late". Start now.

When it comes to the advice "try it or you'll regret it", it's not meant to be applied literally, to every little last thing in existence, with absolute dedication. It doesn't mean try stuff, even if it doesn't interest you. It doesn't mean try stuff, and force yourself to keep doing it, even if you don't like it. It doesn't mean you have to force yourself to do stuff that "everyone else" does. It doesn't mean you'll regret it if you don't check the boxes of going to clubs and partying.

What it DOES mean is, if something DOES seem interesting, then it's worth trying, rather than not trying. If you've already tried it, and didn't like it, you're not going to regret missing out on it. Do you feel like you're missing out if you don't catch a really bad stomach flu and get horribly sick? Of course not. Missing out is a feeling you get for something you LIKE and WANT to do. If you hate doing something, all you're missing out on is a stomach flu.

Nobody feels like they're "missing out" on something they don't enjoy. Nobody looks back and goes, "Y'know, I hated going to clubs, but I sure am glade I spent years doing it!" - that makes no sense. People generally do not feel happiness from doing things they don't like, just cos they get to say they checked off a box.

Also, it's your life, you get to choose hoe you live it. If someone else thinks that by a certain age someone should have done this or that, so what? If that's how they feel, they can go do that. You are under no obligation to live according to other people's expectations - other than the basic principles of society, like don't steal, don't do murder, don't be a jerk, things like that. If you are going to take the advice of "do things or else you'll regret it", don't take it so literally.

It doesn't mean "try everything". It means if it catches your interest, then try it to see if you like it. It means if going surfing, or kayaking, or spelunking, or doing bird calls, or whatever else seems interesting, give it a try - it does NOT mean that you MUST try going surfing or w/e, or else you'll regret it later, even if you never even cared about surfing. Replace "surfing" with clubbing or drinking or partying or hooking up, and the same applies.

You worry less BY living more. "Living more" does NOT mean "go to bars and clubs". You've indicated you don't even like them, why would you want to go to them? Contrary to movies and TV and social media, most people do not go to bars and clubs to hook up - most people go to bars and clubs, as groups of friends, to DRINK or DANCE, cos BARS are for DRINKING, and CLUBS are for DANCING. Friends meet there to socialize with each other. That's why people seem uninterested in hooking up - they're not there to hook up. You might see couples chatting, but they came there together, and already knew each other - they didn't MEET there, and they're not "hooking up". One or two people might be there to hook up, and they're probably both dudes, but it's not the primary reason people go there.

The world is full of ways to enjoy it, far beyond "bars and clubs".

Go to a museum, take a cooking class, or singing lessons, join a hobby club, learn to paint - I dunno - what do you even like? Do you even like anything? You're allowed to like stuff. You can like whatever you want - it doesn't have to be from the list of things "everyone does". You can like butterfly collecting, or snakes, or Nike shoes from the 80s, or movies made by Monty Python, or whatever.

Whatever it is, find out what YOU like. Then do more of that. Whatever it is that you like, odds are there are other people who like it, too. Find out where these groups are. Enjoy the things you enjoy, now with other people who also enjoy it. No bars or clubs required! All those untried, unexplored opportunities to find things you like (not bars and clubs), if they seem interesting, and you've never tried them, are the things you should try, or you might regret it, cos you never know which one you might like. But if you've tried it, and didn't like it, there's nothing to regret. These are opportunities to go out and live life, and worry less.

"As I aged , one of the things , I regret , was all the time I spent Worrying about things that never came about."
******. ************. ***************. ********************. **********
That being said , Had some very serious difficulties resulting from a vehicular accident . That I had been informed
by witnesses and reports from my mother . The results of this accident would leave me with Paralysis and be stuck in a wheelchair.And a vegatable ,At 19 yrs old. So, As part of my recovery . I became alittle bit of a healthnut. Studying nursing and vitamins and supplements . And how physiologically they could effect me . I read alot .This helped me not worry about my health as much. Maybe a sense of control over my own health . Yes, It took over a year to learn to walk again , and much physical therapy . Still some paralysis, but had faith in my body to do its repairs, if I gave it what it needed to make its own repairs . Later found these things are not , Single instances but found out these are normal processes of bodies replacement of cells as one ages . Challenge is to help that process,work . To maintain health .
Now in my sixties