"It's unbelievable how much you don't know about the game you've been playing all your life" - Mickey Mantle
Growing up I was like a roulette ball on a spinning wheel, hopping from number to number, never finding its groove. Living my life with undiagnosed autism, trying to fit into the same "wave length" of neurotypical people, I was like that roulette ball yearning to find a number. Not knowing why I never quite fit was more a subconscious thought than my perceived reality. I was a jagged piece of the puzzle that never fit, but tried mightily. It was impossible and caused mental illness. Panic and Agoraphobia, social anxiety, depression, delusional disorder, and alcoholism. Years and years of these symptoms, because I didn't know who I really was. Playing a game I knew nothing about proved unsuccessful.
What was undiagnosed autism like for you in summary? Has undiagnosed autism helped you in anyway? I am still trying to figure that out. Thanks for your input. Still trying to bridge the divide.
30 Mar 2025, 5:49 am
