Always scared

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Uptight edgy guarded and hateful and wounded and inarticulate and misunderstood pathetic

Yup ,I seem to remember those days ... but now am older, my mouth is more direct , and am not really caring .
But must admit stressful stuff, still wears on me . Felt much better after giving up hope, Then everything that comes along afterwards , get to be a surprise . And believe it or not .Sometimes those unexpected things , oddly enough
can often give me hope, I did not expect. Even if they are little ones . Its lovely when the bigger ones happen ,that actually can make you think you could have hope.