Thinkin' about being a commited person... In the looney bin!

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Know I'm not close to anyone here at WP... But I'm thinking it's time to check my self IN before I decide to check myself OUT.

Already have, what I consider to be, a foolproof plan should I decide it's time for the latter. Pretty Frickin' scary eh. May be awhile till I post again.

WP is a place I actually feel at home.

Peace,
Bruce

We will be here when you get back. Get well soon.

Nothing wrong with checking yourself in if you feel you need help, good luck.

Ed Almos

The thing about fool proof plans is, you don't really know till you've done them. When it comes to these kind of thoughts, I too figured if I say them, they gonna lock my ass up. I was pleasently surprised how they delt with them. Naw they still let me roam the world and the ones that were really serious turned out to be med induced. My others, while sometimes very deep, were delt with in a one on one out patient basis. Things are a lot better now, it took effort to get here and you're doing it correctly. But like all plans, you don't really know the outcome till you've done them. Best wishes and come back soon.

I spent some time in the hospital. I didn't really open up to the drs (don't be like me, open up!) but even so being with the other patients taught me a lot. It's hard to be really pretentious in a mental hospital....so it can be a good place to make friends, oddly enough. I made a few friends I still have and that was almost 30 years ago.

keep speaking up and reaching out. We don't even know you yet but we care about you already. There is a lot of healing out there and in here, and a lot of hope. If you are afraid you are going to hurt yourself being in a safe place for a while can be very consoling....you might be locked up but nobody's going to throw away the key! They'll let you out in a little while with more resources. You'll get better.

Been at the library all day... trying to get the stones to check-in. Want to go?... need to go?... don't want to go?... how to go?... want to go?... Big Frickin' cycle.

Think I might get my best friend to drive me to the joint. Wont be as freightening... maybe. Been friends near on 20 years.

Been listening to Tom Waits [Flower's Grave, One the Nickel, Jersey Girl, No One Knows I'm Gone, Fish and Bird & Shiver Me Timbres] & Alkaline Trio [Blue in the Face, Fine Without You & Continental] all day... same songs over and over. They put into song... my miseries.

Thanks to all for the kind words... be back in a few (days?/hrs?).

Peace,
Bruce

Hope it all works out for the best.
I am afraid I would probably rather end up being so bad I had to be forced in than have myself admitted.
Had many occasions when I was wishing to kill myself due to the apparent futurelessness of my life and the insolubility of my issues.

I'd been considering doing the same until I got accepted into a guitar college. Now I just don't have the time to worry about my mental health. I have to worry about my fingernails.

ohhh im soo sorry about what you are going thru. It says in your username 1988, so can I assume you are 18? The reason I ask is cause thats a critical age. At this point you may be done with high school and are looking towards the futrure. Do you have collage plans? Do you have a job? Do you have goals, ambition? Do you want to or already have moved out on your own?

They sound like dumb questions, but I remember at this age I had a hard time. I realized, WOW! I am not a kid anymore, now I am responsible for myself, and if I screw up, nobody will come to help. their was sooo much pressure, I had to act to start my future that year. I went to a local community collage because I wanted a good future. 18 is hard (if you really are that age) I have been their, without collage, I would have been lost, and after collage I was depressed for a while, cause it was at this point I felt even more like an adult, if ya get me, cause now It was not enough that I had to make most of my own decisions (i still lived at home until the age of 22, when I left collage (dispite a high GPA and being almost complete) I felt it was all pointless, their was no good future, I would work a crappy job my whole life, never have anything good, never have anoyone that cared for me, and I had such an intense wish to go back and fix things and start all over again, of course it was impossible, but I feel I was loosing it. Maby you feel this way a bit. I just wonder if we had similar feelings. I know I made goals, and I knew what I wanted and it took me a bit, but I got it, and im doing fairly well.

I had some bad thoughts too, never seaked help (no inshurance, crappy job at time) i know its rough, lucky they were only thought, i never really got to the point where I had no other option, because their always was no matter how bad things got. If you feel you are at that point it sounds like you are making a good choice. I bet you just need a little direction, maby medication, and some support and I hope you get it and it results in a happy prosperous future for yourself.

Feel free to PM me if you wish, im on almost every day now.

Boof, you say you have no friends really on WP, and I know this sounds bold, but please be my friend! We have a lot in common. I was thinking also that I might commit myself if things got too bad with the depression-induced stress and everything. Please PM me if you want to! I won't forget you and am looking forward to when you get back!

Hey everyone... quite a bit better today... Will have to keep it short as I am at my friend's house and the internet connection is something called dial-up [is that what the dynosaurs used for their internet access? ]

Came to my friends' house late last night and they drove me to the crisis center. The ordeal was much less freightening having a dear friend (this friend is actually closer than family). The person at the center was very good at their job. We decided that I'd be okay to stay at my friends' house for a short time... Someone to keep an eye on me and the other big thing is the major stresses come from my living situation... So staying temporarily with friend's help alleviate some of the big stressors.

Will post a more in-depth update when I can get to some BroadBand network.

Thanks sooo much again for all the encouraging words. BTW im 37yo... 1988 was highschool gradyear

I remember being young and having dial up...
when my family JUST got internet
back then it wasn't something we really cared for-as you couldn't talk on the phone and I had a social life back then...
though it stunk

I wanted to put myself in once, the only reason why I didnt was because there was no In to be put.

Brisbane does not exactly have the best mental health facilities.