How can I stop this obsession with lost time?

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chris1989
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31 Aug 2025, 7:44 am

I may said in another thread that since COVID I've been trying to make up for lost time but I get more frustrated the longer we haven't been abroad somewhere or not having gone somewhere different in my home country. We didn't go down to Devon until late August whereas the rest of the year I haven't gone anywhere else. I went to Copenhagen back in December and Naples in may 2024 and until then I hadn't been back abroad with my dad and stepmum since February 2019 when we went to Berlin. I went back to France to visit my grandparents again in may 2023 but it didn't feel like a holiday though.

I keep also thinking that even in 2020, 21 and 22, people were going about life as though there was no pandemic and people were still getting infected and dying everyday and it's made me feel bad because until I got both infected and vaccinated, I was scared of catching the virus and most of that time was being at home and has left me with FOMO because of it. I still managed to go to a couple of wildlife parks while COVID was still raging but I was still uncomfortable because people might still be passing on the virus despite not showing symptoms.

I can't understand why I also come back from a day out or a holiday and start feeling low and feeling as though these experiences will never happen again and that it will be ages until it happens again and I don't really like time passing too quickly.



chris1989
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18 Sep 2025, 2:05 pm

In my adult life so far, I can name a few things I've done that proves that I haven't done nothing such as driving my own car, worked in a job for nine years, and been abroad to at least 10 countries with my dad and stepmum. But I still feel like I'm missing things. I still get thoughts that life would be better if I had many more friends because I compare to people I see with their close mates (plenty more than I have) at occasional parties, taking selfies or doing that stuff abroad or in another town or city somewhere in this country.

I seem to feel bad that I didn't have the same confidence and ability to socialise that I have now when I was 20. I've heard from people in their 30s who go out and enjoy things single but it just feels like the pool is shrinking which then makes me regret not doing the things that people in their 20s like going to the clubs, a bar and so on but as I said before I can't stand those places.



Ziluz
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18 Sep 2025, 7:57 pm

I feel that way too.



chris1989
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19 Sep 2025, 11:38 am

Here I am in my 30s having worries and negative thoughts where I feel like missing out on life and life is passing me by because I'm seeing some people of the same age settling down, getting married and having kids and I'm at home unmarried, single, living with divorced parents and surrounded with a bedroom full of books and things I liked or into since I was a kid.

I also have these ridiculous worries about health and thinking that once you hit a certain age a certain type of disease is going to strike and kill you when I know full well I could die outside my house from a car crash and being run over and yet I don't go worrying about that. I see people much older than me like my mum in her early 60s how doesn't seemingly care about when something bad is going to happen because doesn't want to waste time thinking about it and here I am, her son having all this stuff going on in my head.



frollpoff
Pileated woodpecker
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Joined: 10 May 2025
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19 Sep 2025, 4:50 pm

Yeah it comes and goes. I try to keep a healthy lifestyle, be consistently active, exercise moving my body around in different ways, that helps reduce health worries, gave me a little more confidence. Just getting older and some my worries have just gone, but some come and go. Don't worry about having worries :lol:
Also, biological parents, I see so much similarity between my parents and I, our behaviours, I'm part my mum, part my dad. My sons are part me, part his mum. The patterns continue. We're also us, ourselves, who we are independently from this.
Maybe life is ending, maybe it is not. What's the proof? Got any proof either way? Like Astrid (Astrid:Murder in Paris) says (probably referencing someone real) there's no evidence for God, but also no evidence for no-God. Absence of evidence proves nothing.