Not really looking forward to my birthday

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For some reason I'm finding myself not looking forward to my birthday on Monday. I'm probably just going out for meal or something and I'm going out for something tomorrow night as well but I don't feel in high spirits about it. I feel like I haven't made the most of every birthday. I don't like time passing me by and it seems almost obsessive thinking about lost two and a half years of time (ages 30, 31, 32, 33) because of the pandemic I mean normality didn't start again for me until 2022/23 and until after I caught COVID when we went back to France to see grandparents in may 2023 and went to Naples and Copenhagen last year. We did go to places while COVID was going on and social distancing but I didn't go abroad.

I hope you will find something to enjoy about your birthday on Monday ... be well.

I honestly dislike my birthdays. It feels like a day that's supposed to be better, or where I'm supposed to be special, and it isn't better, and people don't treat me any better or different, so it's just disappointing. Every year I try not to have that expectation of it being better than a regular day and every year I'm disappointed anyway.

I hope you find a way to enjoy your birthday.

If you're going out for a meal that's about all my birthdays were after turning 15, so that seems pretty normal to me. My family has just outright neglected my birthday entirely the last few years. We haven't done anything and, aside from the sibling that doesn't live with us, not one of them has even wished me a happy birthday. At first I gave them the benefit of the doubt and assumed they just forgot, but later I learned that it was on purpose.