panic/crisis

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i'm having a relly bad crisis with panic and depressoin right now and i don't feel well at all. i made a mistake of lying about having taking my medication for the past 3 weeks and i feel intense panic and depression, i don't know how describe it but i am having a lot of despair and hopelessness about the future and so much fear and memories i don't want to think about at all. ive been feelnig like crying but i am strugglin wtih it but it feels liek i want to sob for hours and horus but i can't , at most i got a few tears out. i do get professional help but it's extremely late in my country and my family is sleeping. i don't want to wake them up and worry them even more, i don't know what i want right now, i just don't feel well at all and i don't know what to do. i don't know if i shoudl wake them up or just wait for it to pass i'm trying to wait but it's been at least 3-4 hours and the bad feelings and thoughts are nto going away. i am not self harming or anything but i do get urges to do it. i don't want to wake my family up and make everything worse for everyone again. i don't know what to do. i hve no friends i can call or anything. it's 1am where i live. i don't know hwo to calm down. i ould really use someone to talk to right now

2 yeras ago i tried to overdose on this night and i got really stupid thoughts in my head because of it

i'm having a relly bad crisis with panic and depressoin right now and i don't feel well at all. i made a mistake of lying about having taking my medication for the past 3 weeks and i feel intense panic and depression, i don't know how describe it but i am having a lot of despair and hopelessness about the future and so much fear and memories i don't want to think about at all. ive been feelnig like crying but i am strugglin wtih it but it feels liek i want to sob for hours and horus but i can't , at most i got a few tears out. i do get professional help but it's extremely late in my country and my family is sleeping. i don't want to wake them up and worry them even more, i don't know what i want right now, i just don't feel well at all and i don't know what to do. i don't know if i shoudl wake them up or just wait for it to pass i'm trying to wait but it's been at least 3-4 hours and the bad feelings and thoughts are nto going away. i am not self harming or anything but i do get urges to do it. i don't want to wake my family up and make everything worse for everyone again. i don't know what to do. i hve no friends i can call or anything. it's 1am where i live. i don't know hwo to calm down. i ould really use someone to talk to right now. 2 yeras ago i tried to overdose on this night and i got really stupid thoughts in my head because of it. i know imade a mistake by stopping my medication and i won't ever do it again i just need help for right now because i don't know how to calm down at all

Keep checking in with us here. Hope you're okay.

I don't know if this will help but maybe it will make you laugh. When I was waiting two weeks for surgery, I was not dealing with the anxiety well, so I started watching Gadgetman because Richard Ayoade's voice is so non-emotional, it's soothing.

Hope you're feeling better.