I keep crying

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Every time someone speaks to me in a tone I don't like I start to feel all vulnerable and just want to sit and cry.

My husband shouted at me just now. Earlier when he went to bed he told me to wake him up at 12.30am as there was a TV programme he wanted to watch (we don't have Iplayer or Netflix or anything like that as we are old school, which I prefer. Apart from my iPhone I hate modern technology.). He's often up and down at night so it's not out of the ordinary for him to be awake during the night. So I let him sleep but was mindful that he was eager to watch his TV programme and I didn't want him to miss it, so when 12.20am came I woke him but he just yelled at me. Granted he was half-asleep but I was only doing as he asked and I startled when he shouted. So now I'm lounging on the couch in the living-room writing this post and sobbing.

The upstairs neighbours keep moving stuff up there at 1am and bonking and banging, I email the landlords but they never reply. I suppose they've got their relatives staying up there again, they're always noisier when they stay even all night. But there's a separate thread about the s**theads so I won't gabble on too much about them here.

I've been tearful all week and it's anxiety about hearing my job might not be safe and people sending me frightening information about how Nigel Farage will treat poor people like myself very badly when he gets elected in 2029, as no doubt that he will get in, as there are too many people hellbent on getting rid of the immigrants. It's all panicking me and I am feeling so anxious and desperate for reassurance, that I keep escaping into dreamy sorts of dazes when around people, which is very unlike me.

Please can somebody help and tell me it'll be okay. I'm suffering.

My primary care physician suggested I take Ashwaganda to help with anxiety.

https://www.prevention.com/food-nutriti ... hwagandha/

It's maladaptive, but it's not an uncommon response when one is more stressed than they can bear. Sometimes that stress level creeps up before one can even recognize it, which makes the outbursts even harder to understand when they happen.

The 'dreamy sort of dazes' sound like mild depersonalization/derealization. It's also a fairly common extreme stress reaction.

It sounds like your husband needs to understand that you're already on your limit from other things, and for him to make more of an effort to not lose his s**t on you. It's possible he's also stressed from the same things you're stressed over.

One thing that might help would be to consider doing something that addresses the root cause of the fears; analogous to how during a war a country will have volunteer programs 'to support the war effort'. Maybe Binface will sort that problem out for you, but you'll feel much more in control if you do something towards that end even if it's only trivial.

Who's Binface?

It's weird, I feel right as rain now. The anxiety attacks come in short bursts.

I think my anxiety is too high right now for herbal supplements. Also the only side effects are my worst fears - nausea, diarrhoea and vomiting. I can't take that chance.

Another option may be some sort of stimming activity that engages the mind. In the past I've played Scrabble on the computer.

Now I like to play golf to do a "mental reset."

I do engage in creative hobbies such as colouring and writing and listening to happy audiobooks. But the anxiety sometimes hits me when triggered and I go into full panic mode, like my body thinks Farage is out to get me and is going to take away my security, leaving me poor, hungry and homeless. It's my worst fear ever. I have had bad things happen in my life, such as my mother dying, but security helped me bounce back. Security involves having a roof over my head in a safe private living space, with my hobbies and comfort items and pets. If I lose all that then I'll be a goner. I would not survive. Is that what Farage wants? People to die of fright?

Farage stepped down, setting up a by-election under sketchy circumstances. All the major parties boycotted, causing his only significant opponent to be a comedic candidate by the name of Count Binface.

Sweet Pea hugs

Is that good or bad?

Probably good, if only because he'll likely expose himself as a joke and, if he wins, he'll still face the investigation that he hoped the by-election would allow him to bypass.