Need help being emotionally mature

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I was talking to my parents, (like I usually do) asking them what I need to approve on. They told me that what I need to do know is to be emotionally mature.

I take things too personally and defencive

I become unconfortable at times when I feel I can't relate to anyone

I worry about getting people angry or sad

I don't talk to my parents much other than my problems

I say the wrong things

I confuse people at times

and I have a hard time with small talk


If your an aspie that overcome this, please let me know

_________________
Thank You and have a nice day,

_Eric

Still on the road of trying to overcome this mate. According to a test lol I'm more emotionally mature than not, but apparantly there's a big chunk I still need to brush up on.

It's tough for an aspie this stuff man. I'm sure you know obviously, as you're the one posting it... lol

I would try not to get too worked up about it... everyone has different reactions, but if I for one got worked up about it, I'd become paranoid and low.

My emotional maturity is still terrible...it's quite unfortunate because it causes so many problems.

Im pretty much just like you Eric, but I wouldnt call it emotional immaturity. At least not in your case. Everything you described are aspie traits, its not like one morning you can wake up and decide "Its time I started acting more NT". You know?

Social Anxiety Disorder. It usually isn't cured by having people tell you you're immature (and usually make it worse by doing that).

It is flawed, I think, to use the same scale for emotional maturity on autistics as for neurotypicals. The brain mechanisms are different... while you may appear childish to neuro's, let's say by taking things too literally/personally, you may be developed as far as you will go, and rate high on the imaginary scale of emo. mat. in the category of AS. You might not realize this, but you've probably come a long way in controlling your outbursts over the course of your childhood and teenaged years. This means stop comparing yourself to neurotypicals. And if you still want to be more mature, you will have to let most of that come naturally, and through practice. Here are some tips:

Think about the consequences of what you say before saying it. Even if you are feeling an internal storm of emotion, stop, check your tongue, and take a deep breath while doing so.

A good way to not take yourself too seriously and therefore not taking things too literally, is to inject some humor into any dealing in life. This helps immensely, I promise.

For me, the social anxiety and anger issues came from fear of being thought of as or coming across as emotionally immature... and so when my mother called me emotionally immature when I got angry or anxious that made me worse! I still resent her for it to this day!

I think I've gotten a little better control over it, but not sure. For example, about six years ago, I was visiting an acquaintance another woman and her two teen-aged daughters. We were sitting in the living room, and the woman whose house it was, had one of those Pleasant Company dolls there. Both girls (I realize now,) were angry at their mother, and acting up to annoy her. They started flipping the doll around and pretending to be shocked because it wasn't wearing underwear. I was laughing in delight, when I realized that the other two women weren't. To this day, children's silliness can get me roaring with laughter, and other adults always look at me askance.

I think it sounds to me that you are always coming to your parents and discusing your problems, your issues, discusing YOU. Not everybody wants to only talk about you. We all have similar problems, but I think sometimes you gotta bite your toung, im sure they realize what your problems are, you dont have to keep reminding them. I think maby you should ask them about themselfs. Its hard, but you need social practice, what better practice then to socialize with your folks. Ask how their day went, ask what their interests are, and build on that, especally if you shair a similar interest. DONT discuse yourself, every post you make you make a reference to the fact that you always talk about yourself, or your problems to your folks and by now they gotta be sick to death of hearing about it. Their are some things we will never be 100% on, like maby small talk. But you gotta play with the cards God dealt ya. Put your issues outa your mind, and talk to them, learn more about your folks, maby try and find a common interest. Be relaxed and confident, people pick up on it if you are not, perhapse you need to listen more and speak less. Ask questions, maby even discuse later a bit about your collage experience (after talking about your folks and not yourself) explain how your day went. Ask about their collage/school days and how they dealt with issues of their time, as it can help you deal with issues currently. This may appear to be small talk, or BS, but you may learn something, not only about your folks, but also about yourself, or socialization.

I almost always feel like I can act emotionally mature, but I spend so much of my life wanting to curl up in a ball and cry. . .

Everyone accuses me of having lots of it, though I have no idea why.

Wish I could help.

Sometimes I feel so fusterated because they don't understand Asperger's.
I know it's not their fault. Nor is it mine.
Interesting how NTs can say that I have a disabillity, and at times I find it discrimmination against my uniqe way of thinking.

Alot of times, I can't take criticism.

I feel that people are either bulling me or discriminating me.

What should I do?

_________________
Thank You and have a nice day,

_Eric