Does this happen to anyone else?

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Every week or so there's a time from a few hours to around two days where I feel really miserable and sorry for myself. I'll sit around, crying quietly, thinking about how bad my problems are (even though they're not that bad), and wishing harm upon myself in return for all the wrongs I've done.

Does anyone else get these?

I used to be sitting in class bored, and my mind would wander to all the times I've been wronged and misunderstood, and I'd get myself worked up into a snit about it, and rehearse what I would say to the people who wronged me, and get more angry, and almost be in tears. That's what sensory deprivation does to ya! You need to do something or, if your situation does not allow it, be on something.

happens to me all the time! I have SOOO much shame in my life, not to mention the act that everything I ever did is worthy of regret.

And if I have a bad game or something, noting can console me except recieving physical pain. But no one will slap me no matter how much I beg to be smacked in the face. So as a result of my parents lack of spanking I have pulled out my hair, beat myself up with a stick, wipped myself with a belt, slammed myself into walls, jumped off the deck, sliced up my arms, ect... if only they would punch me for my shame.

My parents spanked me until I was 5, but all it ever taught the 3 of us was that it was far more painful for me to endure a +10minute lecture that 5 seconds of being swatted. Despite this, I ended up infliciting head-trauma on myself when I was 14 and frustrated, but I was additionally fueled by rage more than guilt.

My point is, I question whether getting spanked would have changed how you feel.

Or maybe I just genetically have an ass with superior pain tolerance and destructive power. My mom and I have always been adept at slamming our butts into things with amazing force.

i get that feeling too. it sure sucks.

I get that but not for as long. I think that everything just builds and hits me all at once.

I do not get that feeling. Life is what it is. You deal with it and move on. I have nothing to be ashamed of and my only regrets are not standing up for myself and handing it to a few people who deserved it when I was a kid.

Inclinations to self-injure aren't caused by a lack of corporal punishment as a child. It might be caused by very profound self-esteem issues, perhaps partly caused by a parent's rejection, indifference or neglect. *Wanting* to feel physical pain is *not* normal, and physical pain is *not* an effective way of coping with feelings of shame.

This is cyclic self-destructive behavior that is fueled by your own self-loathing and keeps you buried in that shame. And the more your hurt yourself, give yourself the scars and negative memories, you're giving yourself more ammo to hate yourself with. Stop the insanity and get some help. See a therapist or consulor. You don't have to accept that this is just how you are. You don't have to live like that. You have a choice.