Feeling trapped with a girl

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Well I'm in kind of a bind. I'm feeling sort of trapped by a situation with a girl that I really care about alot.

See its like this, we've been seeing each other for a few months now, not that often cause we live a little far and shes still finishing highschool but is 18 though and her mom is really really protective.
But we get along really well and seem really into each other and it all seems cool except for a few things.

See her mom keeps going on about things she doesn't like about me to her, alot of them rediculous and untrue and all too often. insulting and hurtful. Like today I got asked over the phone by the girl if I wore clean pants and wahsed my underwear. which of course I do but her mom was saying I didn't or something and she was wondering cause I only really wear one style of pants until I buy new clothes when I have money.
But still its not like I smell, I try to take care of my appearance and I found that hurtful that she would even think it. I do believe her mom is a hurtful, mean, and controlling person. The one time I met her she made several backhanded comments about the girl I'm seeing, even implying she was fat or something. Now understand this girl is practically a twig so thats rediculous but you can see how stuff like that constantly growing up will make it so you don't really stand up to or rebel against mom even if its needed:(

So its like how can I compete with that? I mean her mom is constantly planting doubts and low thoughts about me.

Also I've tried to have the "what are we" conversation with her, cause I really am looking for something more serious. I mean I know we don't see each other often but I don't want it to just be some fling or to just be that guy she sees once in awhile for a date and "hook-up" or makeout session or whatever, thats not what I want.
SO far I've gotten her to concede that we are at least "special friends" but anything serious, we'll see how she is and where we are when she graduates.
I am done with getting hurt from this kind of thing. I've already dealt with alot of things, even up to knowingly going out with a girl who was hedgeing her bets and it always ends bad and I'm done.
I really like this girl and I want her to stay with me but it seems like shes holding back when I talked about it. I don't know if it was cause she was scared, didn't want to get hurt, or whatever else, but I'm not sure if I could stand to get hurt with someone I care this much about and I don't know what to do. I'm literally almost to the point of tears over this cause I'm scared and I don't know where she stands or whats going on and its hard.

Man, that sucks. Maybe you should try telling her how you feel.

I don't know, I kind of tried to with parts of it but I wasn't that clear in my meaning I don't think cause it was hard to talk about.
Other things I was just scared to bring up.

From the looks of things, I doubt it's your fault or that you are turning the girl off. She simply might have a mother whoes controling. I think you may be right about the mother of this girl. It's almost as if the mother's desires are being put first, right? The idea the mum made about you being filthy and never clean, then the girl asked you if it was true. I think that is a nice big sign that there was already a control thing likely happening between the two of them from the beggining and long before you came around. After all, the daughter couldn't learn to submit that quikly. That wouldn't be normal.

The Mother should be carefull, if said girlfriend likes you a lot, the negative talk mum is giving is just as likely to turn said girl away from her mum as away from you.

I WARNING: honest opinion incomming. might be offensive I
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first of all, you are doing nothing wrong. infact, you are a very tolerant person to not have said how you feel to the girls mother, wich would probably end up being insulting and would do more harm than good. secondly, i agree with you. that girls mother is a controlling (censor). aparently, she dosnt like you. but that shouldt stand in the way of you and that girl's friendship/relationship/whatever you call it.

its time to put the cards down on the table. tell the girl how you truly feel, and have a face-to-face talk with her mother about your feelings and how you would like the harrasment to stop. hopefully the three of you is able to sort things out. but DONT turn the girl down because of a controlling warthog. shes done nothing wrong. if nothing else, at least the pressure is realeased from this emotional steamengine.

i hope my post was helpfull and youll be able to get to some kind of agreement. and i dearly hope the girls mother isnt reading this

best of luck from here!

Thanks for the support everyone. I appreciate your help and your opinions.


I don't think I'd turn the girl away, I'm just frustrated is all. I think thats what I'm gonna have to do is talk with the mom when I have a chance. I just gotta be civil and state my feelings on things and what I would like.
I think your all right and thats the best course of action.