How to deal with harassment and stalking?

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I've been being harassed by a former friend for about six months, but it's gotten worse recently. It's getting scarier every day and I don't know what to do. I think it might even count as stalking.

She has bipolar disorder. She has a history of hospitalizations and suicide attempts. Around the time this started, she was talking about going off her meds. I tried to talk her out of it, to no avail.

When her behavior became bizarre and hostile, I sent her an email expressing my concern and explaining why. I suggested that she share it with her family and doctor if she wanted to. She said she did. Then it all got a lot worse.

She's been calling me several times a day, leaving long, rambling messages. She's threatened to come to my house and "deal with" me in person. She's sent countless emails, text messages, and a letter making strange accusations (she said she thinks I'm an alcaholic even though she knows I don't drink).

When the threats started, I tried to get help for her from some mental health services, but they couldn't find her and she just got angry and started contacting me more often, more angrily.

Her other friend thinks that I'm exacerbating her behavior by refusing to interact with her, but the fact is that I'm scared to be in her presence.

I don't know what to do! I don't want to get law enforcement involved because I fear they would do more harm than good; it would probably just provoke her and I don't want to find out what would happen then. I mean, she needs help, not punishment.

Does anyone have any ideas about how to deal with this?

I'd chase her away with a sword or convince her to kill herself, but thats just me.
If you actually don't want her to die, then I got nothin . . . tie her to a tree?

Talk to her on the phone! Tell her she can talk to you whenever she wants to, but on the phone or the computer for your own safety.

Thanks for the advice! Unfortunately, I've tried that and it doesn't work. She doesn't listen; she just talks nonstop and gets angrier and angrier while I say nothing. I'll probably have no choice but to get a restraining order.

But maybe if she told her parents someone got a restraining order against her, they'd figure out something's wrong and come and get her some help.

Tell her explicitly that you do not want any more contact. Keep a record of the contact that she makes after that point, and ask the police for guidance. This has to stop, especially because you are scared. Your first concern needs to be you. You can't save her if she can't or won't be helped, but you can protect yourself and give yourself a little peace.

Indeed, her other friend may be right that cause you are not interacting with her that is making her worse, however it is your right, for whatever reason you decide not to interact with anybody you dont want to and that is something the other party simply has to accept. I dont feel you should have to interact with anybody who makes you feel uncomfortable or scared, that is wrong. If you have tryed to contact her and help her understand how you feel and it brings no solution to this problem you may have no choice but to involve the police, eather that or live your life in fear which is not right for you.

You former friend has issues, she needs to deal with them by herself, it is her who pushed you away and i think in her head its all your fault she feels this way. This is dangerous for you, it has to stop, I think maby you should meet her face to face, in a secure location, with others nearby and talk things over, afterthat, if your former friend cannot deal or treats you badly, its time to involve the police plain and simple, things can spiral outa control quickly and Id hate to have you get hurt or in trouble. Its good to be a friend and try to help, but I think you have done all you could at this point and you should be enjoying your life, not living in fear.

First reaction, you're in Texas and they have guns in your neck of the woods.

Maybe that's the wrong way to do it

I don't know how well you know the local law enforcement but if you went down to your local PD and asked to speak to one of them on a private matter you would probably get heard. Keep documentation of all the events, tape telephone calls and get as much evidence as you can. Obviously this person needs help.

Ed Almos

Notify the police. Show them everything you have from her. At least you might get some protection. With any luck she'll get some help for what's going on for her too.

Most states have anti-stalking laws, so maybe going to the police would be a good idea. Keep documenting everything she does, and you could get a restraining order against her. If you tell the police she's a danger to others or herself because she's bipolar and off her meds, they may take her to a mental hospital for a while for protection.