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hello, at work I have experienced an increasing amount of hardship (once again) due to increased responsibilitys being placed on me. This is good, I like progress, however I think some of my more negative aspects of my ASD are becoming more apparent to others and making my ability to do the new tasks at work difficult if not impossible.

Increasingly the company I work for has been relying on me for more forklift work helping others (sometimes large groups of teammates) at the same time, I am in charge of the load being conducted, I must organize the pallets and freight (often I line them up on the floor neatly making them accessible to others, this is how I do things, efficency is important to me) and also now I must direct sometimes 10 other people in a ever changing chaotic environment. I can do my job well, but now I have a problem, I simply cannot deal with 10 people all shouting out numbers (asking me for commands) while organizing frieght, while navigating the vehicles, traffic and others in my 5 ton forklift (a single misshap can cause an accident, distory $1000's worth of product or injure even crush or impale someone).

This is new, and I find im simply not meant to be able to handel all these situations and navigate them safely or even efficently. I was fine working by myself, but now, we have increased vehicle traffic (resulting in increased sensory issues) too many people, too much at once for me to do, too much to focus on, too many demands on a 'structure' that may not be able to support such, and at the same time I must watch out for the changing environment and people/vehicles moving, i dont want to hurt, even kill someone in my very dangerous and heavy forklift.

To make matters even worse tonight, as I was quickly loosing my grip on the situation, sensory overload and quickly slipping into almost freaking out, I was approached by a supervisor (now diverting even more of my attention) who yelled at me over some stupid paperwork I never finished (because I was buissy doing a load and trying not to crash my very expencive matchine).

I instantly knew I needed a quick escape, i needed chill out time, i got outa the forklift and walked away, others watched and yelled at me to come back, i was done. Instead of letting me chill out, the boss yelled at me, at this point I was in meltdown mode, I was shakking slightly, having a hard time communicating, I needed a quick break, instead the boss yelled at me, telling me I had a bad attitude and to go home.

I left the facility still slightly trembling, grinding my teeth, i got in my car and drove home, when I get back I face a write up for failure to complete paper work and do my load.

Does anybody have any advice, I simply cannot verbalize my feelings when in this mode, somehow I give off a bad attitude vibe? I want to write an E-mail to the company and explain my situation (some supervisors know I have HFA/AS, but I feel they may have felt I was making it up, or even joking?? because they generalized and thought since others can do all that at once, i should be able to.!

Any suggestions, I have 2 days off of work thank God, I go back sunday to face my punishment for my 'bad attitude'. I was instead trying to control a meltdown scinario, things kept getting worse.... anybody have any advice??

I think what you wrote here would be a good thing to take to your supervisor. They need to know what your are good at and not promote you into failure.

Ya, welll I want to write something formal and hand it in, I was never promoted, just got a raise because of my high productivity and learned how to operate a new matchine. Now that I have the raise suddenly im asked to take on new responisbilities, and im always willing to meet halfway but I wont take on too much at once, too much for me, i get overloaded after a while (like anybody really, even NT). I dont want special treatment, all I want is consideration, perhapse my views of the world are different, my experiences, what I can and cant do ect...

I dont like being lumped with everyone else, I was told 'everyone else could do the paperwork, why couldnt you?' Ill admit it slipped my mind when I was doing other things and slipping into my new routine that night, adjusting, I made an error, but they did not have to pile all that on me, they know I have issues sometimes and if everyone was willing to meet in the middle I think things would be far better their.

Jeeze, its like asking for the whole damn world, heh.

Ya, welll I want to write something formal and hand it in, I was never promoted, just got a raise because of my high productivity and learned how to operate a new matchine. Now that I have the raise suddenly im asked to take on new responisbilities, and im always willing to meet halfway but I wont take on too much at once, too much for me, i get overloaded after a while (like anybody really, even NT). I dont want special treatment, all I want is consideration, perhapse my views of the world are different, my experiences, what I can and cant do ect...

I dont like being lumped with everyone else, I was told 'everyone else could do the paperwork, why couldnt you?' Ill admit it slipped my mind when I was doing other things and slipping into my new routine that night, adjusting, I made an error, but they did not have to pile all that on me, they know I have issues sometimes and if everyone was willing to meet in the middle I think things would be far better their.

Jeeze, its like asking for the whole damn world, heh.