more super sad badness

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Flakey's phone accidentally dialed me at work, and icould hear he and Jenny talking in the background...

I overheard him say that he would pay her rent if her boyfriend left.

Then when I hung up the phone it just kept ringing back at me and I didn't want to listen to them but the phone kept ringing back.

When I finally got through to Flakey, he played the same game of twisting my words around and blah blah blah...when I confronted him with what he said about paying his concubine's rent..he lied and said that he was just joking....

They said that they were just having lunch and blah blah blah....but you know how it goes....
lies lies lies....

I literally have no place to go..at the moment....

I hate myself.

I hate everybody...(except you guys)

now I am trying to slog my way through this mess at work (running Flakey's business)

but I am shaking and crying...and feeling like crap...

Whose "Flakey?"

The person who's bed I supposedly share and who's businesses I run while he is off with a 19 year old...see the other thread in the haven entitled "slightly bad relationship problems"

I think you need to ditch his crazy ass.

Cut him off, hes obviously just using you.

P, you've gone through this with us so many times.

It's at the point you need to start planning on what you are going to do for YOURSELF!

You need to make some decisions and follow through with them.

Wanna run some ideas past us?

You're hanging on to a bad relationship. It sounds like a dead-end from your description.
It's no better than the physically and mentally abusive relationship my younger sister could not seem to pull herself out of years ago.
Somehow she finally did before he killed her.

Get the point?

Take action! Take care of yourself... not Flakey!

We all seem to want you to do better for yourself.

Can't you see?

I am financially dependant on him....
And he is sooooo manipulative.....
It will take some time.

Last edited by poopylungstuffing on 31 Oct 2007, 4:27 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I wonder if there isn't some legal way that you can raise your salary or otherwise use the business to help yourself out with a place to stay. It doesn't sound like he would know the difference anyway. Also what can you legally tie up so that you can hold the purse strings?

i don't get a salary.
I just get spending money and occasional presents.
I was supposed to get health insurance.
now everything is in turmoil

He does say that f we split he will leave me with SHFL...which can hardly pay it's bills....which is sorta dependant on the other business i help run

Try checking for agencies in your area that supply free housing in that case, also you might want to consider sleeping on the couch tonight instead Well, if he messes with your head again make sure to tell him hes doing it when it happens, to "catch him in the act". Then he will realize maybe that hes being a prick and your smart enough to understand whats going on here, and maybe he will stop.

google love addicts or co-dependents anonymous, they will love you through this pain and they will love you unconditionally.

I wish you well

PM me if you would like to find out how such 12 step groups have helped, yr very welcome.

Will hold you in my thoughts

Will it be difficult for you to find a new job?

Yeah..it might be sorta difficult. I do have dumb neuro-issues
i never wanted to wind up being co-dependant. I am trying ot get myself out of the situation.
It is just somewhat complicated. we run 2 businesses together and I don't earn salary.
He has f****d up dependancy issues.

I have f****d up dependancy issues.

I think I need a lobotomy.

Isn't that illegal for him not to give you a salary?

PoopyLungStuffing are the businesses you help Flakey run legally registered as corporations or sole proprietorships? Also how many employees are there working in each business?

You need to ask yourself some hard questions.

Do you really want to still be dealing with this 2 maybe 5 years down the road? Can you mentally?

He is controlling and manipulative...you are financially dependent and he's well aware of that...another form of control, and it can be a mighty powerful one...trust me, been through the same. Basically he has you were he wants you...he pulls the strings...he does what he wants, no matter what pain it may cause to you...and he will most likely continue to do so.

He'll do things you know are wrong, that hurt you badly...then deny that he was aware of it, or turn it around and make you feel bad instead until you're half crazy and you start to question your own sanity.

But here's where the Aspie in us bites us in the butt...it's not so much love addiction, or a dependency issue (maybe a bit)...it's he$$, but it's a he$$ we KNOW. The uncertainty, and the fear of the unknown, the CHANGE were the reasons I stayed as long as I did. Because looking back now over a year later now I can honestly say it wasn't about love...someone who loves you doesn't do things to constantly hurt you...it was about fear, fear of the unknown.

Even if he does a complete 180 and you really feel this could work...it never hurts to have a back-up plan...see if their are programs for financial aide for small-businesses should you need them (SHFL), see what help you can qualify for and how to apply for it if you need it, look into health care programs for low-income or emergency assistance should you need it...keep good records of anything you could need in the future. You can research most of this on the computer...it's good to know your options, and it makes the unknown a lot less scary.

Nothing more to add...just lots of {{{Hugs}}}...and if it doesn't get better, that at least it gets a bit easier.