frustrated!! !

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i'm so frustrated that i cannot express myself the way i want to or need to.
i'm always afraid i'll say the wrong things...and then i wind up saying nothing at all, or the wrong thing completely. i hate asking questions, because i'm afraid of the answers i might get. or that i might offend/upset someone by asking a particular question...
and then when i do get the courage to say what i mean, it is usually too late.
i just really hate being like this.
does anyone else ever feel like this? how do you deal with it? does it ever get easier?

i get like that too, it sure sucks, u should try to just speak slowly and say what is inside. people would like to know, and would not like the fact that u held it in cos u did not want to offend. in my experience people would say things like 'why didn't you tell me?"
as for working up courage, take a deep breath and ask the questions u want to ask.

there is no benefit for holding your feelings in, u may upset people but it is their problem and not yours.

it's not so much the actual speaking. it's the getting the thoughts from my brain to my mouth and spoken so that it is the same original thought....there seems to be some kind of translation that happens in between and skews everything....usually i like to practice conversations in my head before having them (if i can) but that doesn't always happen or the opportunity isn't there.
i think one of my problems is that i am too emotional, and have problems especially with that...everything i seem to do is based from emotion - i act emotionally and react emotionally to situations. does that make any sense?
as for people wanting to know....i dunno. maybe it is just the people i have befriended, but my experience has shown me that people do not really want to know how you are when they ask how you are. even if they say they do, they don't. and as for it being their problem not mine if i upset them, well, yeah actually it becomes my problem when i start losing friends because of it. and you may say that then they weren't really a friend to begin with....and i don't know what i would say to that, to be honest. i sometime agree, but other times, i don't want to believe it.
and having the courage to ask questions, yeah, i'm getting a little better with it, but usually, it just seems too little too late. but i continue to try.
and thanks for taking the time to answer. i appreciate your advice.

sodarktheshadows I know exactly where you're coming from. It's hellishly frustrating.

so besides taking forever before responding to anything, are there any other ways you guys have found to make it any easier? or do you just deal with it the best you can?

One, we are out of sync, hard to start and the message gets garbled.

Two, we are concerned with things most people have never thought of.

Add to that many years of failed trying, totally wrong reactions, ended relations over a word.

In many ways I have become a mute.

People ask a reasonable sounding question, and no matter what I answer, they go off on me.

So I quit, now I just stare at them. They had to get me involved to run their game, and it leaves them turning red, shouting at themselves, and I said nothing. I might go pick up a hammer and ignore them.

I would say I do not like humans.

Here on WP is much different, ask a question get a lot of well expressed answers.

We may not be the person you want to ask, but we are almost people, and our answers will cover the subject.

It helps to practice posing questions, seeing how changing the question changes the replies, and here you variety.

Sometimes it is asking the wrong question, or the wrong person, and it is seen as manipulation, not as asking for an answer.

As for questions, ask away, you will get replies here, and we will not come burn you at the stake, I promise.

Once you have a working model, other's cheating at the game stand out.

I run across a lot of cheaters.

I have been in this situation as well.

Tim

[quote="wsmac]One thing I do that may or may not help with part of your dilemma ...

when I really need to talk with someone and I know I may get emotionally carried away in the midst of conversation...
I write a letter instead.
I may read it to that person, or just give it to them and wait while they read it.

Otherwise, I usually get totally misunderstood.[/quote]
i have tried that, and have found that it does work a little better...but that only works if i have enough time to sit and compose all i have to say. if it is during regular conversation, it tends to be more difficult, and then if i have said something in a previous conversation, i feel the need to constantly be apologizing for things i have said that may have been misunderstood, or that i have misunderstood the other person having said...its frustrating....

and i enjoyed your poem btw...thank you. it helps to know i'm not the only one...