Feel left out

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Guys I am really depressed because I have no one to talk to and I am isolated in my room all the time. I have too much anxiety to go outside and I have been in my room for like 5 years.

I was given the chance to go to the day hospital near to where I live, but the staff there did not listen to the person who diagnosed me with Asperger Syndrome and they put me in groups which were too big and too loud and it was too stressful and so I left

Because of this my psychiatrist said to me that I don’t accept that I have to work hard to get where I want to be, and I have been accused of a lot of other stuff which I cant write about but I think its really unfair because he has made assumptions about me, and I really did do my best.

One of the staff in the Day hospital said that they were deliberately making things hard for me so that I would be "challenged and learn to interact with groups”. My Psychologist who diagnosed me with Asperger Syndrome and me thought that the only reason that I was going to the day hospital was to make friends and to have a place to go outside of my room. The staff made it too hard and they ignored my Psychologist and I was forced to leave because of how hard it was. I was completely overwhelmed because I was not supposed to be put in such big groups.

One of the staff at the day hospital annoyed me because she said that people who go to websites which are about Asperger Syndrome are either delusional or are pretending to have it. This person also implied that I might have been misdiagnosed because I am from a different country and the cultural differences “might not have been taken into account”.

I have a diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome. I am not delusional and the person who diagnosed me is a psychologist who sees me every week. There were two other people who were involved in my assessment also.

The person who diagnosed me is the only person who I can talk to and who understands me and this person is on leave now so I have no one to talk to and I feel left out. I have a CPN but he misinterprets everything I say and he put me in hospital for a week. I was taken away by social services and if he just told me I had to go to hospital I would have gone from my own free will. I hate people who say they understand and then they betray me like this. When I was put in hospital I had to face the psychiatrist who always makes accusations and assumptions.

The only person who gives me the benefit of the doubt and believes I am a good person is away. I feel very suicidal because of they amount of stress that people are putting on me and because I feel left out and alone.

Thanks for reading this.

if I could help you I'll do it, but I have the same problem.
just do what you can to fight against depression.
i know it's hard. When I'm really depressed I watch my favorite movies, eat candy, stay in the hot shower for 3 hours etc.
best wishes!

Ok, take it easy now...

People are so vain. They act like their crap don't stink. They really get on my nerves.

Now that I'm done ranting, your problem. I'm sorry to say I have no idea what you can do in this situation, having never been hospitalised for my problems. That said I would strongly recommend against grinning and bearing it - this will only kill you quicker.

I don't know what you can do... but I must ask that you hang in there, your friend will return soon and you'll have someone to confide in again. Hang in there.

thanks for the replies guys

I think ill just concentrate on the things i like doing and try to say nothing to my CPN that will get me in trouble again. That will be hard because i always say things with out thinking and regret it later.

I'm sorry that things are so hard. It's awful to be told that you're not trying when you're trying your best.

oh, i 'love' these experts. just avoid the person, next time.


i am sure you are a good person


that is so me

I wish I could come over and visit you.

I can sorta relate. I hardly ever leave my house. Then when I do and try to put myself out there I only get hurt.

I was in a day/night "hospital". Had the same situation with the staff. Really sucks and I am now terrified to go to the hospital. From what I got out of the staff was that they hated dealing with me. The fact was they hated there job and were sick and tired of dealing with us. Makes me wonder why they choose that career path. I was actually rather fine when I went in but really depressed when I left.

It can suck having a problem such as AS. There is no rock solid test to say yes I have AS. Others can not see your pain and troubles in life. So you go unheard and ignored at times.

Sorry.... but the best thing I can think of is believe in the fact you have AS and ignore the ignorant people around you. If you figure this out tell me how.

With these people its their way or the highway. Its their hospital and they will treat you with the methods they see fit and you have to adapt to them. If your symtoms don't fit their methods then tough luck "you dont acsept that you have to work hard" -thats their responce to their own mistakes. Blame the patient after all they are "mentally ill" and therefore anything they say is undermined.

I really did my best because i asked to go to the day hospital, i wanted to make friends and change my life and i went 15 times before i left. I was not pushed or forced into it. i left because the groups got bigger and bigger and in the end i was not included at all. I find it hard to be around more then two or three people.

I have never gone anywhere on my own in a taxi before, and that was the first time in my life.


I think that on my next appointment with my psyciatrist i am gong to say that i am being treated in an unfair way and i do accept blame for leaving because i had no choice!

Hang in there, Sparkman. Mental health professionals can be very trying. Instead of admitting that neither they, nor anyone else can profess to know all the answers, they will make abrupt pronouncements, value judgments, or just come across plain harsh. I had one them accuse me of "shopping" for counselors, because I'd been through several, and had been admitted to the hospital a couple of times for suicidal thoughts. I told her that she was only counting how many times I'd fallen, and ignoring how many times I'd got up. And of course they all swore up and down that I didn't have Asperger's.

congratulations to that, though


that sounds right to say...

from what i understood, they just put you into big group of people and expected you to socialize? if it was that easy you could do that yourself anytime. i can relate to it, to be among people and being left out. it happens a lot. they all talk together and i just stand there and watch. they are all strangers and naturally we have nothing to talk about considering that chit chat is not something i am good at.

once, i saw a vid on youtube (cannot find it now) about a class for kids with AS/HFA. NT kids were mixed with AS ones and they practiced conversations. there was an AS boy talking with NT girl (can be tough, but all the other kids around were doing the same separately, so it wasn't about big groups at all) and when this boy got frozen and didn't know what to say next, the teacher noticed it, approached the boy, leaned to him and told him to ask her what her favorite movie is, the boy repeated the question and the girl started talking about it, until they found something that was of interest of both of them. i find that to be a good idea for AS kids to get used to the rules of socializing. much better one than throw you into big group of people and if you fail, blame you that you don't try hard enough.

I don't think you can ever get much understanding from people who don't have AS. You may have considered this already, but just in case you haven't, here's a link to the NAS N. Ireland:

http://www.nas.org.uk/nas/jsp/polopoly.jsp?a=7578&d=659

I expect they can put you on to a local AS group.

Unfortunately, I've come across people like that too. How the # can they say we're not trying when they are NOT TRYING to move one millimetre from their arrogant presumptions and attempting to understand us.

Then they have the gall to say we have NO empathy! They ought to look at their own selves instead.

I agree with you Pandora. Seriously, if you want to talk about no empathy, just look at these jokers.

You cant talk to someone who does not understand or blatantly disregards your point of view. If you are uncomfortable talking to someone then it would be unproductive to be expected to carry on. It is wrong for a counselor to be imposed on someone and its right to look for one who respects and understands.

I have no faith in certain parts of the health system and the experiences which have brought me to this way of thinking are too many to list.

The worst one was when i was hospitilised from trying to kill myself and the staff were pointing laughing at the symptoms I had from overdosing on antidepressants. That was the lowest point in my life and they basically kicked me when i was down.

That's dreadful and people like that should have been sacked straightaway. Again, a complete lack of empathy AND sympathy and compassion. I haven't much faith in the psychiatric system here either. The hospital where you went probably doesn't pay enough to attract quality staff.