Feelin' a little inhuman.

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The past couple of weeks have been a bit hectic,
about a week and a half ago, My grandfather was killed by my grandmother who then killed herself,
As big of a shock as it was, I felt terrible for about a day or two, then I'm otherwise fine, and then when I returned to work, I found that one of my Co-workers who sat nearby had passed away also, that new didn't affect me at all,
In all truth it's only when tragic things happen in my life and how I react to it that makes me question my humanity...
Does anyone else feel like that too sometimes?

Yeah, I felt nothing when my dad died, just numb. I had friends die and I didn't feel anything either. These were when I was in my twenties. As I've aged I find I care now, when people die.

When my grandmother died in the spring it was a bit of a shock at first but I recovered really quickly. The funeral was hard, because I wasnt upset about her death and seeing that everyone else still was made me feel guilty and as you said, inhumane.

I understand why people are sad when those they love die, I just have a hard time not seeing the reality of the situation, which in this case is that they are gone and being upset about it isnt going to change that. My reaction unless I am really close to them is often nothing more than a momentary twinge of loss before I am inclined to pick up and carry on with my day.

Dwelling on thier death wont change it and besides, its the inevitable conclusion for all of us.

I've found through a little thought on the subject that I would be 'upset' if certain people died. Otherwise I am not affected by news of death, and I've always felt a little inhuman.

There was a star trek episode (isn't there always? ) that completely sums up my feelings on death/absence:

"As I experience certain sensory input patterns, my mental pathways become accustomed to them. The inputs eventually are anticipated. And even 'missed' when absent." - Data

Change upsets me. There are a select few people whose death or absence would damn near kill me.