angry

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I am f*****g angry that god, or chucky darwin, or whoever the f**k it was , made me the way that I am. I have asperger syndrome--which is for me, a truly regrettable, and disabling condition--. (And to add insult to injury, is apparently the favorite romanticized, and deluded excuse of every worthless, pathetic loser(especially on the internet), as to why they are a worthless, pathetic loser - this troubles me greatly, as it exacerbates my anxiety and shame) And I also am a manic depressve. ...I would say I am very much a misunderstood character. As much as I enjoy life in my good times, I do often wish I was never born. Hey, by the way I don't give a s**t that there are famished children in mozambique who would love to be in my position, so don't give me that same old BS routine that I should be thankful for what I have got. It's all luck....it is all fate....I don't have to give f*****g thanks to anybody! f**k You! I deserve charity as much anybody, I am very troubled. Just because I appear to be relatively normal, does not mean that I am not disabled in a very serious way; that I am not deficient in the most basic of skills that most people take for granted.... I am tired of people's BS advice, and of their motivational speeches. Not a single person that I know, in my judgement, has any frame of reference, or business in telling me what I should do or think. No one in my family has ever really attempted with any enthusiasm, to foster my creativity, or to help me develop my natural talents. I resent that deeply. All tthing told, Psychoactive drugs are the only thing in this world that have ever given me hope, motivation, or the ability, to acheive anything of signifigance. Drugs are the answer. Yes, I am angry. Yeah, I am mean. Deal with it. My only ambition in life is to make a lot of money creating great art, and subsequently, to snub members of my family and anyone else who took a part -however insubstantial-in quashing my dreams, and killing my soul.

I agree.

of course you agree - someone obviously that angry, what else can you do.

Bixbeiderbecke,

You sound pretty annoyed - anything anyone here can do to help or do you just need to vent?

Aspergers and manic depressive (bipolar) top 2 things needed to be a great artist, join the club.

Some Buddhists believe that we choose the circumstances of our birth.

If that’s true, then I’m sure I had a good reason for choosing to be the autistic son of an alcoholic father, I just can’t quite remember what it was right now.

I’m sorry you’re so angry. I hope you feel better soon. I really do.

Drugs might be the answer, but they might not be the right answer.

Anger can be viewed as a configuration of brain chemistry. If you take drugs for the anger, then when you stop taking the drugs the anger might return with a vengence.

There's got to be a better way.

Schizophrenia is the disorder of the artiste.

You wont find many artists with autism, they are usually very dull and with no creativity. Admittedly you can look for exceptions.
I am autistic and have bipolar, i am very lazy and wouldnt presume to be a 'great artist' myself. I have only written three books.
Are you published by the way ? Or are you some great painter ?

I agree.

I hate my parents too.
I also find it hard to believe that in general people can care about the starving children in poorer regions.

Just pursue what you like.

Bix, I can totally relate about the charity and "you should be thankful" thing. They have no right to say that; they don't know the seriousness of what's going on in my head!

If you ever want to talk about anything you can PM me.