Have you tried exercise: a vigorous walk can help.
I have a punchbag - that's good for soothing frustrations.
I have 2 sons with Asperger's and they have a 'toolbox' to help when they're anxious/angry. Their toolbox has different 'tools'
The hammer (physical activities) eg going to park, jumping, punching punchbag, punching a pillow.
The paintbrush (creative activities) eg drawing, lego/bionicles, reading their favourite books, going on WrongPlanet.
The shovel (people they love who make them feel good). Mum, Grandma, etc
The saw (thinking toolbox) - replacing bad thoughts with good thoughts
The pickaxe (bad tools) hitting others, calling others names, swearing etc
When you are upset it is difficult to think about what to do.
Maybe you could come up with a list when you are feeling calm. Then you can refer to this list when you are upset. (My sons are only 9 and 7 so their tools may not be age appropriate for you!)
The pickaxe (bad tools) are tools you want to avoid.
Regards
Helen