Do you hate it when people can tell you are shy?

Post Reply New Topic

Personally, I dont like it. It;s not that I want to be outgoing, although being a little bit more comfortable socially wouldnt be a bad thing. But when people can just look at me and think "oh she's shy", that KILLS me. I dont know why. I'd like to think I look normal or average to others. I'd like to think that it wasn't so glaringly obvious that I am not that socially inept. But even people who I've just met, like 2 people at the airport whom I said literally 5 words to, could tell I have a shy personality. Maybe it's just this feeling of being "exposed" that I hate.

Maybe I exaggerated with the word "KILLS". What I meant was it bothers me. When things feel out of my control I feel strange. I need to be able to control it.

I know what ya mean

Shyness can be pretty obvious. Especially if, like me, one blushes easily.

I'm shy but I tired not to be shy a lot though around females its a bit different to say.

I just hate it when people say TALK (with my knee-jerk reaction of "What about?"). It doesn't work. But it's good that some of you know what I am talking about. It's good not to feel alone in this.

YES.
I am introverted.
Introversion and shyness are not the same thing.

Yes, I know. But i can't be bothered with semantics/logistics right now.

I am both. When I am not feeling shy or have nothing to say, I am still reserved and prefer to be alone.

It's just I don't like the initial judgment people assign to the label; they dont know the two things are different.

Right. Especially at work, if you work with a lot of extroverts that talk and laugh instead of working, and they laugh at you for being "too serious." They can try to make the inrovert look bad for accomplishing more, by trying to make you feel bad for being less social. Arrgh.

I hate it when people tell other people that I'm shy. It's almost like part of the introduction now. "Hi this is Michelle, she's shy" Like wtf people give me a chance at least

I feel bad because of this. I'm not the least shy, I'm even extroverted when autistic issues don't hold me down, but when they do, people think I'm shy. It's not so much that they think they know that I am shy, it's more that people expect me to be shy then. If they realise I'm not like this, they either get confused and try to apply their rules to me if they're in a higher position like that of an teacher - or they just congratulate me for being not-shy, which is ultimately silly.

It's annoying that people expect you to be the way they think you are. Especially if you're not like it at all and just appear so because of things they don't know, things like autism.

I could rant on forever, I got bad marks in behaviour for being 'shy' and the reasons I was told are all autistic things, which I can't quite overcome yet, like broken routines, unexpected changes. I'm not sure whether I should tell them I'm autistic now, I mean, I didn't want to because I figured that school wouldn't possibly grade the things I have trouble with.

yes this is terrible, all last year at university i would have to spend endless hours in the art studio every night for weeks straight working on drawings and paintings, while a lot of the other students would be in there just talking and getting 10% of the work done that i was, and they would always come over to bother me because they didnt like how "anti-social" i was being. even some of my friends think its weird that i would rather stay in and take time to do an assignment the right way instead of rushing it and going out and partying all night.

People always call me shy. I'm not shy, I just don't see the point of talking when I have nothing to say (to those who call me shy anyway.)

It's like once they apply that label to you, it's very hard to break. Like, in your example, if you say something they may say, "Oh Michelle said something! She talked!" That is like a negative reinforcer that makes people clam up.


Sora- I dont understand why children get graded on shyness in school? I remember I'd get perfect grades except for in participation etc. I understand that it is good for children to learn how to express themselves in front of others, but to take off a grade for a personality trait- ridiculous.

agreed, i get told to talk to people when i am taken to parties and stuff. which is a pain.

i am reminded of my year 7 book that we all got given at the end of the year (long time ago but still sticks in memory) the class captain (or class president) had made a list of all our names and a trait about us that he remembered. things like funny and fun to play sports with came up.
mine was NEVER TALKS.

i don;t see the point in talking when there is nothing to say either.

I learned in my early to mid-teens that if I cared what other's thought, I would be a very sad and depressed person, 'cause most people can't stand me as it would take too much effort to understand my quirks than most are willing to give. That day was the turning point in my life and I have never looked back. Family members, friends, co-workers, or strangers, it doesn't matter 'cause I don't care what they think. I am not on this planet to satisfy the needs of others. I am here to survive and to ensure my offspring survive. No more, no less.