Getting very tired of this life style

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My mother judges my voice again. Her dumb, idiot of a friend called again at 6 am in the morning, and didn't bother to stay on the phone so I could give it to my mother. Also, she didn't bother to give my mother her cell number, and yet expects to get called on the cell phone. I give the phone to my mother, thinking she has the #$% number, while she's on the toilet, for crying out loud. She just puts her head against the phone.. "hello". I'm like.. "No mom. She hung up". I'm a tiny, teeny bit annoyed by then. Gee, I thought it was normal to feel a tiny bit annoyed when woke up in the morning for nothing.

Suddenly she gets all mad at me and raises her voice. I thought "what is your problem?" She said I sounded snappy. Oh here we go again. Is it not enough that I casualy, comfortably answer the phone and people sometimes b***h back "don't talk to me that way"! Like I even try to piss them off! YEah right!

I'm so sick of this game of theirs! Granted, I'm at least not with my father who prefers to scream in my face and literaly taunt me till I completly loose it, but this sucks to! No I can't walk away from him when this happens, as he followed me in a threatening manner each time he did it. Our fights happened despite how he sounded himself. *sarcasum* No. He's the not one at fault.. I don't repeat back how a person sounds because of AS. noooo.... I'm the bad apple who needs punishment. *ends sarcasum for now*

My need to be alone is now set completly in stone! I hate having 'normal' friends who judge me! I'm sick of my family judgeing me! I don't trust anyone, pretty much.

Another reason this hurts alot is my experiance in acting, that spans over 7 to 8 years. 7-8 years of vocal and performance practice. Taped voices so I can memorize my line by myself. My voice! Mine! Maybe people would understand me if they bothered trying to know me better! Why can't my family give that some effort for once, without this being primarily on my part?

I'm cooped up everyday, with my parents' expectation to get money of my own. I feel guilt every night. Thank god I at least havn't triggered self inflictions till now, of course, because these things are so irratating and sudden. I hate sudden fights! I play video games, look through classifieds to find no job openings, and basicaly feel like trash.. every.. dam .. day! My mother comes home, and there I go laying the dumb blond personality out for her. Often times her company is addictive, and it makes me feel good. Kind of like a dog that rejoices when it's owner returns home. I am very loyal to them, but they just don't see it.

I am sorry to hear all this. I really really am. I cant give you any advice because I dont know any sorry, but in times like this I always remember myself that, in the end, I live for myself and times like this WILL pass. good things WILL come to you.

Well, thanks for replying. And yes I hope so soon

Girls never seem to get on with their parents (especially with their mothers) from about 13 onwards until they are married and out of the house.

re: The Job Scene - it is probably the only way out for you (sorry).

The first jobs are really hard to find but they get easier. If you live in a big enough place, you could go to the local mall and ask around for jobs - yes it's torture but it can work. eg: put your name down for a supermarket job.

If you don't want to work a register, there are packing jobs at night which would be a bit more private - probably harder work though. Yes, I know they're not ideal but they're a good start for independence.

I was going to suggest that you write a letter to your mother to tell her how you feel but I'm not sure how much good it would do.