Family Drama

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Hey all. I know I haven't been here in awhile. But I hope no one will mind me sharing what I've been thinking about...

...Two days ago, my sister told me that our dad had an affair for 3 years. I'm shocked, and I really have no idea what to do with this information. Neither of my parents know that I know. I've had a very checkered past with my dad, and often wished that my parents would get divorced. It just always seemed like they would be much happier on their own. I guess my mom has forgiven my dad, but I'm not sure if I can. My dad seems to love us, but why would he do something that could potentially tear apart our family? A few indiscretions is one thing, but 3 years?!? Usually I'm good at tuning out things that don't affect me. I suppose this is one of them, and it's really none of my business. But even though I've had some issues with my dad, I never thought he would do something so awful to my mom. So yeah. I don't know what to think. Thanks for letting me vent.

Pineapple that's a tough one. My parents had me when both were to young to have kids. My dad did a lot of stuff to my mom that really hurt me too. I have for the most part forgiven him, but I will never forget it. My dad had a stroke a few years back and I seem to have lost most of my negative feelings for him then. I hope you can find some comfort that other people have been through the same thing.

Thanks sands. Families can be so rough sometimes. I know others have been through similar things, but it makes me feel better to actually hear from one of them.

Hi Pineapple,

Just like to say that i'm sorry that your going through this at the moment. It really isn't fair that your parents relationship has affected you like this.
I have had my share of family dramas [especially my mothers relationships] and I know that it's no fun.

Think on the positive side, though. Your mother knows what your father is like now. I know that may sound harsh...but it's the truth. Also...you know what he is like now, which in the long-run, is a good thing in my opinion.
One of my mothers ex partners turned out to be a possessive stalker with a violent streak...just be thankful that you didn't get that.

Thanks for the commiseration. Believe it or not, it helps.

Let me ask you this.
What, exactly, can YOU do about it?
You're right, it stinks, but it's your dad who is going to be a very unhappy man for the rest of his life. Not you.
It's not going to solve anything if you tell him what you think. At least, it's not going to change anything.

The only thing you ought to take away from this is that not all men are like that. My wife and I are going on 20 years in March, and we've never been so unhappy with each other that we've cheated.

You have to be pretty insecure to cheat on someone you love.

Just make up your mind that you'll never pull a stunt like that, and you'll look very carefully before you marry anyone, and you'll be okay. The signs of a guy who cheats are all there. It's just that most women ignore them.

btdt

Yeah, I know there's nothing I can do, and I don't think I'm going to tell anyone right now...

Hi Pineapple, nice to see you again.

My father had an affair for some years. Sorry. I expect daughters relationships with fathers is different from sons, so it could seem a greater "disturbance in the force" to you.

My parents ended up divorced and 30 years later I still want to ask my father why. I didn't see him for 12 of those years. I regret loosing the closeness we once had. I would be sad for you if you were less close to family.

Look after yourself

Thanks Bazza, I'll certainly do my best.

When I first joined WP, I thought Hale_Bopp's and your avatars were really cool. It turned out Hale_bopp's was a drawing she did of herself. I was curious if your avatar is of you also?

Kind of, in that I'm white, have brown hair which I used to wear in that style, and usually wear a blue jacket. If only I had a coordinating tie and tiara!