drunk -continue drinking otr stop right now??!

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here we go, drunk again.
so, i happend to drink a little too much tonight. didnt mean tó actually my hands got a little shakinh so it became one bottle instead of a half . i am wasting the booze i could have saved it ehh for what reason i dont know. ive takern my sleeping pills too, i ddint want to my mom forced me.
so im probalby not even gonna enjoy this until it really goes away, so bad and just so very iunnecessayr !
i HAVE TO stop drinking. when i sat on the floor in my room i realsed this is bad,. okaty i understood so before, but i xsSERIOUSLY understood it tonight. the problem is i dont want to. becuz its not avutalööy a problem, i am not violent or anything sle,. im calm. but i still know its bad becuz i cant stop myself from drinking if i see some bottle in the kitchen or anywhere sle, my hands start to shake and mhy heart beats so nyc faster and í haaaaveee to drink it otherwise i dont wknoew what as would heppen. problaby nothing, but at the moment it doesnt feel like thatfr.
knw it does somwthing vbaf to the brainm, but everything i do is bad and i cannot just lie down and die thats just even more bad so then i have to gdo something atleast and then if i pick this its just bexcuz i have to pick something. and im not adicted becuz i havnt been drinking for ages now and i suriveve.
i just dotn know what to do. one part f me knows itrs bad and thinks i should stop imideatly before it gets worse, another part of me thngks its just wnderful an not a problem and that i ofcorse shoudl continiue.
i just dont know whatr part sdhould be in charge. and irns not my other personalty shes not invpled in this at all. its just my problem caused mby myself. by the way i havnt heard anything at all from her for ages!" thats weird.- it scears me. it scaers me that perhapes shes awakr when im asleep ., pehaps shes just as much here as she used to be the diffrenets it just that i am not here when she is.
that would be real crappy. i have to drink more and CUT more so she goes away...! yes its better to be drunk and sane and bleeding than to be normal but insane and unscared.!
but its still bad...... damit i cant make upmymind about this!! !! !!

i talk to a girl in sweden, she wants my ass. and maybe one day she can have it but not now,
anyways thats my problem, now onto yours. i think you should do whatever you want, because you are the bossman

hmm that sounds very wreird
are tyou sure shes not some 70 year old guy instead
but i dont know waht i want, that the problem .__.

Sweden provides booze and razors in the psych ward?

Quit drinking, thats what I done

Quit drinking, so you can control your life.
Seek support.

hmmm...yeah. weren't all your previous posts from the 'mental ward'? i thought you were hospitalized. last time i checked, no hospital provided alcohol for any kind of behaviour, good or bad.

so what's your real story?

in sweden, in childrens mental hospital, you're allowed to have 'free days' when you go home and visit your home for a while if the doctors think its okay and not dangerous. but when it comes to razorblades its quite easy to hide them in the clothes and use them in the mental hospital. must people do so, i rarly do it becuase it just always ends up fith the personnel searching through the entire room and messing up all the clothes and books....
thats the real story.

I never drink. I hate the taste of alcohol.

I have stopped drinking but I've had a few pints tonight. My dad has had five pints and will probably go out and have three or four more. To me, that's lunacy.

As for your own situation: if you're already drunk drinking even more won't do you any good. If I were you I'd stop now.

Become obsessive on portioning your drinks. If you are driving, the rule is one drink per hour, with a two hour stop after (hour to absorb, hour to get out). Other than that, I would say drink 2 the first hour, 1 the second, third, etc. Stop when the good booze for tomorrow is going quickly.

BTW, one of the many forms of alcoholism is the inability to stop after starting. It’s not like these alcoholics drink every day, but…

Well, the AA "twelve steppers" say you gotta truly 'bottom out' before you can reform, so . . .

Bottoms up! Chug-a-lug. Down the hatch.