Housebound and don't know anyone

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Unsure whether or not it's childish to post this online for strangers to read.

I'm 19, live with my mother and brother at home, and am on a housing list due to my ASD, so I hope some day to move forwards in that regard.

I can't go outside as things are, am nocturnal and spend most of my time in my room, with my hamster.

I don't know how to describe feelings, but I can say that I don't have any friends/visitors, and haven't in a couple of years. I'm not an elegant/mysterious recluse, I can't make it look like I'm this way on purpose - I'm an overly smiley chatterbox and the loneliness of not having any friends or visitors, or even a life companion is crushing. I can't go outside, and if I could I wouldn't know where to meet anyone. Also, people can be rather coarse/self absorbed, especially at my age, which can lead to really feeling quite a lot worse. This morning, for various reasons, the situation hit me like a tonne of bricks, and I broke down in front of my mum.

I thought that I might find some comfort in the fact that while I'm sat here in tears real people do at least use this site and might relate.

I can relate to that, I haven't even really gone out hardly ever and at my age I should be at college or a job. Instead I am still at my parents doing what I like to do despite AS, and yes I certainly know the crushing feeling when you compare your life to other people your age. Having no real life friends (my clan mates are the only people who keep me sane as well as my cat), my family has had to support me the most out of all my brothers. Even my family can still have a hard time relating to me, especially my dad and his side of the family who are a bunch of sports jock (God help us, its football season again ). I put it to my mom this way, "Well mom at least 2 out of 3 of your sons became independent people. Not everyone is that fortunate."

The true irony I find in independence is that in actuality you will ALWAYS be dependent upon someone or something. Heh if you really wanted to be independent of everything you would live as a hermit and get your food off the land apart from everyone. Of course that example is extreme as humans are by nature social creatures, as the Lord put it, " Man does not live on bread alone."

Anyways forgive my ramblings, and know that you are not alone my friend.

yes that human need to connect is strong.

reclusive people can still interact and connect with others on the internet.

you will be fulfilling this need and "given" you have without going outside.

hope that helps.

Hon I'm sorry you are having a tough moment (Pook sending a cyber hug). I know many of us can so relate.

Know that we're here and are rooting for you

Thank you all for replying, it does make a difference. I'm sorry I haven't replied sooner, but I find it difficult to know what to say.

Hell-Fox - I'm glad and also sorry that you can relate to this situation. It's true that everyone relies on something or someone, but I hope to at least branch out and rely on something more sustainable than I currently do. I might copy you and get a cat some day for company. Good luck surviving football season also, I'm glad that I'm not forced to cope with a sporty family.

donkey - I think that meeting people online is a good idea, I do try, but I find it difficult to reply easily. Something to work on in the future.

Pook - I send a cyber hug back, it's good to know there are people out there who can relate.

Thanks again

Well, you pretty much described my life.

I'm not house-bound in the sense that I do go out.. to work (though socialization there is the same as I was at home. zero). I go out.. to buy food and stuff I need. I travel during my vacation time if the $$ allows it .. I dont socialize at all but I do like to see new places and cultures.

"I'm not an elegant/mysterious recluse, I can't make it look like I'm this way on purpose - I'm an overly smiley chatterbox and the loneliness of not having any friends or visitors, or even a life companion is crushing."

Yes, 100% yes. Its not a matter of relating to this.. this IS me.

We're here for ya, no more tears ok?