has anybody ever felt like this before...

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has anybody ever felt like they're completely alone even though they're surrounded by friends and people that care about them?

I've been feeling like this alot lately and I don't know why. I really have no reason to cos I have an awesome group of friends who always come and say hi to me when I go to school in the morning and several of them have told me on many occasions how much they like me and what a great person I am.

I have no idea why but I just seem to have this notion in my head that I was destined to be alone for the rest of my life. I'm 17 years old and I still haven't had a real bf/gf. The longest relationship I ever had was 2 weeks long and that was when I was like 12 or 13.

Also, I know this is typical AS but I just don't seem to know how to interact with people. Like I can have a perfect conversation one on one with somebody but in a group, it's a whole different story. When I'm hanging out with a group of people, I try to join in on the conversation but I just don't seem to know when to say something and I always end up saying it at the wrong time and getting everyone frusterated at.

One more thing, I seem to also have problems joking around and flirting so to say. For example, one of my friends was pretending to play air drums and I so badly wanted to sort of "join in" with him but I had no idea how to react or what to say. Also, when people tell jokes or say sarcastic comments I either don't understand them or don't know what to say back to keep the joke carrying on.

I'm so worried because I have this trip to Peru with my school coming up in about a week and I don't know how I'm going to be able to fit in with the rest of the group or beable to stay in a hotel room with 3 or so girls that I barely even know. I really don't want them to think I'm weird because I have trouble carrying on a conversation. I'm also worried because I turn 18 and finish highschool in a year or so and I don't know how the hell I'm ever going to beable to make it in the real world.

I know how that feels. I think its because even though I have friends around, we never really seem to be thinking on the same wavelength. Like, I don't think I've ever opened myself up and had a meaningful conversation with anyone in my entire life. I'm a pretty calm, level-headed person, and I'm not very judgmental, so people seem to confide in me all the time, but I can never really invest myself enough to let my guard down and let someone know how I really feel about things.

Wow, that seems to get the problem like bang-on. I guess it's not really that big of a deal when you really think about it. There are people out there who think somewhat like you, right? I guess it just takes time for you to meet them and befriend them and what not.

I'm just so worried about what people think if you want to hang out with the group but not really say anything. Like I have friends from several groups or "cliques" if you want to call them that and whenever I see one of my friends with a group, I usually go over and try and hang out with the group. It usually never works out that well though cos I'm always so quiet and never know what to say and then people end up giving me weird stares or sometimes make rude comments. Then I get really, really anxious and start to feel sick almost and have to walk away from the group. It happened at a party that I went to a couple of weeks ago and I was so panicked that I wasn't talking at all. Then everyone got all worried about me and I just told them I was tired and ate too much junk food. They seemed to believe it then tried to offer me advice and make me feel but of course I didn't know what to say back to them so it only made matters worse.

I don't know if it's really AS symptoms or just a little social anxiety.

And yeah I can sort of relate to the not opening up to people. When I first meet people I can never open up to them even just to talk about my hobbies or the weather or just to make typical small talk. But over time, I have developed about 5 or 6 close friendships. I guess for opening up to people, you just have to get to know somebody really well, then you can get confident and know whether or not to trust them.

I understand the feeling. I live with people that supposedly love me (my parents and little brother), but they really don't show it that well, and I more feel like I'm living with complete strangers.

I have trouble with that all the time. What really seems to help me out is if I drink a couple cups of coffee an hour or so before I go to a party or something. I don't really know why the caffeine helps me out though, as it would seem like that should just make me more anxious . I guess the extra energy helps me think of good comments and responses a little bit quicker, because it seems like my biggest problem is that I can't think of something good to add to the discussion until it's too late and I've missed the opportunity. So you might try having a cup of coffee or tea or something like that next time and see if that helps.

You don't have to be alone to feel alone. I don't think feeling lonely is that bad, in medium sized doses, of course.