My best Meltdown to date
And by best, I don't mean it was positive - rather, the most dramatic. I think that I've actually taken the first step towards going batpoop crazy! Heh. I guess I've just got to the point where I can't keep on making sense of everything any more - and now my emotional connections are all... frazzled. Kinda like they overloaded and all fused together. Now whenever I feel angry, or sad, of happy, or stressed - *anything* - it just comes as a very brief glimmer, and then I just start laughing and laughing hysterically. At first it was crying, but then after the first hour it just all started to seem so *funny*... and then I couldn't stop laughing. My ribs feel like they're shattering and muscles ache in my neck that I didn't even know I had. And I can't stop! It's been going for three days now, and I'm really beginning to think I'm losing my mind. And it feels... relaxing. Finally stopping trying to make sense of everything, all the confusion of everyday life. I feel peaceful, in a way that I haven't for years and years. In short - I genuinely feel as if my mind is snapping, but... well, I don't know that I really mind. There's a freedom to this laughter.
Well if it's any consilation to you, I laugh at things that most ppl don't think is funny. You might be on the meltdown but maybe you need to get this out of your system. I don't know what else to say except I've been feeling crazy too lately. I've had ppl get mad at me for something I said or assume that I'm mad at them.
asplanet
Veteran
Joined: 10 Nov 2007
Age: 67
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,258
Location: Cyberspace, New Zealand
Meltdowns I still have them.. a lot more under control now since being diagnosed and understanding myself and symptoms..., apart from Aspergers I also have bipolar, told just traits now as under control. But I use to cry and laugh uncontrollably for no real reason.. I just seem to withdraw these days...
Had one on friday:
These days my meltdowns are mostly un control and I am the one most affected...
My mood just changes, its like a blank screen comes down and every other thought has gone, just a huge empty void, need to be alone, want to shut the world out for a while...
How do I begin to explain, its like an explosion of confused chaotic thoughts jumbled and I feel the need to withdraw like an injured animal... there is usually a build up and quite often it can be odd comments, and I start to feel at odds, miss understood.. partly feel this is because people on the autism spectrum tend to over think, analyze things too much...
I have also found I like my routines and things to be organized, so when things start to build up and lots of changes, I worry about what I should be doing and what I have not done.. start to feel anxious, this is usually a warning sign for me and at this point know I need to do some think I love to help me re-focus, alleviate the build up of stress...
My husband now knows when I feel like this just to give me space for a while and as always I bound back, energized - maybe this is just my recharge time...
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