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I have 3 moods: normal, miserable, terrible and like I'm

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Ana54
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16 Mar 2008, 2:31 pm

dying.


It takes a lot to make me happy these days. What about you?


Nobody seems to be able to help me. Pep talks are insulting and trivializing of my problems, "come bake some cookies with me" is trivializing of my problems and assuming in my f**ked-up state I'd be able to concentrate on it and enjoy it,


I feellike whenever I get depressed, I lose more and more potential to be happy. When I do get happy next time, I fear that I will never again get as happy as I have been before.



SilverProteus
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16 Mar 2008, 6:09 pm

On most days I feel too numb to feel depressed.


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Ana54
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16 Mar 2008, 6:20 pm

When I feel numb it's usually not the buzzed kind of numb. It's the something's-missing kind of numb.



ebec11
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16 Mar 2008, 6:44 pm

Ana54 wrote:
dying.


It takes a lot to make me happy these days. What about you?


Nobody seems to be able to help me. Pep talks are insulting and trivializing of my problems, "come bake some cookies with me" is trivializing of my problems and assuming in my f****-up state I'd be able to concentrate on it and enjoy it,


I feellike whenever I get depressed, I lose more and more potential to be happy. When I do get happy next time, I fear that I will never again get as happy as I have been before.
I feel the same way a lot of the time. Darn depression :(


I know you might hate me for bringing this up, but have you thought about a therapist? I had one (before she moved to NEWFOUNDLAND :(:(:(), and she really helped me sort through a lot of my emotions. There are Aspergers Specialists out there too that could help.



ebec11
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16 Mar 2008, 6:45 pm

Ana54 wrote:
When I feel numb it's usually not the buzzed kind of numb. It's the something's-missing kind of numb.
That's my numb state!

Depression sucks, huh? :(



Ana54
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16 Mar 2008, 6:47 pm

I don't trust other people to help me sort out my emotions; the one Aspie specialist I met made stereotypes about me, not to mention getting things in my assessment wrong and making me look more dysfunctional and wierd than I was, so I don't really trust autism specialists any more... I'm probably as bad as him because I'm making a generalization.


The only thing that significantly helped me sort out emotions was posting it all on this board and not having any of it censored and knowing it will be up there forever (or if they shut down the board I think they'll warn us and I can back it up).



SilverProteus
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16 Mar 2008, 7:53 pm

Ana54 wrote:
When I feel numb it's usually not the buzzed kind of numb. It's the something's-missing kind of numb.


Yep, as in 'where's the emotion?' numb.


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Ana54
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16 Mar 2008, 8:20 pm

It wasn't nice though. It was terrifying and depressing. It was a black-hole, something-essential-is-missing kind of numb.