Unbelievably anxoius

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Im posting this half for you guys and half so I can go back and look at it tomorrow.

I was sitting here, minding my own business at the computer. My sister hands me the phone and says "Its _____." So I take the phone. He says "Hi". He asks me if I want to babysit. I CANT SAY NO! I @#$%ING hate babysitting! I cant pinpoint why but Im just off the wall anxious when I babysit. I think its a combo of being away from home, and wondering if the parents will ever get back.

So I take a shower to relax like I always do when Im really anxious. I paced back and forth and talked to myself. Not in a creepy way, just like kinda reasoning with myself, kinda trying to calm myself down.

Plus, whenever I babysit for these parents they go out drinking with my parents and dont leave until the bar closes at 1:00. And a wierd thing I have is that I cant sleep in another persons house (yet another thing that distanced me between my friends in elementary school). I just dont like sleeping in front of other people. Im worried that theyll come home and see me sleeping on there coach and start laughing at me. Plus, I feel SO much more relaxed in my bed. So I stay up until they get home. And I take 2 miligrams of Risperdal so that makes it very hard to stay awake.

Its times like these that I KNOW I have asperger's. A normal persone just wouldnt get so damn worked up about something so insignificant as this. I know because my sister is so unbelievable opposite of me. She hangs out with her friends ALL the time. I only see my friends at school. She loves to be out of the house. When Im out of the house I get anxious and cant relax. The list goes on.

Welcome to me deranged life!

I hope things improve with you soon!

agreed.

Of course!

Don't feel bad if they make you uncomfortable. If it does not feel right, it probably isn't. That is the easiest way to stay out of trouble. Trust yourself and be happy about it.