self harm

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i just noticed this morning that self harm is getting easier and easier for me, i don't seem to mind and i don't seem impressed by my own actions, though my self harm is limited to making small cuts on the same spot everytime, the frequency in wich i do it scared the sh*t out of me this morning it's pretty much a weekly ritual to make atleast one new cut some very undeep others a bit deeper, i always cut to the point where blood comes out and then i stop and enjoy the pain by contracting my hand muscles. it seriously scares me, but i don't seem to mind, what can i do

You are aware that what your doing is something that needs to be stopped, which is good. The next step would be to go to your doctor and ask for a referral to a councellor who deals with self harm issues.
I am a former self harmer. It wasn't easy to stop and i'm sure it wont be for you. Thats the reality, it's like an addiction. Once you do stop though, you'll wonder why you even did it in the first place.
You say that you enjoy the pain...so maybe instead of cutting, you can pinch yourself instead? It wont be the same, i know, but it's safer. Until you get help, you need to find alternatives anyway. Good Luck.

Like to inflict pain?

Know that there is no degree of physical pain
that can ever compare to emotional pain.

The mental frustration and anguish we feel when
we take the steps necessary to better ourselves yet
fail to realize the results we expect of the labor involved,
may be the most painful of all.

Why dont you give it a shot. If you do, but be sure to give
it everything youve got. If you dont dedicate 150% of your
time and effort into your failures.. you'll be cheating yourself
out all that wonderful pain. The pain that makes us stronger,
influences our changes, and ultimately subsides as we
begin to experience success.

emotional pain is the reason i inflict physical pain in the first place

Do you know what the emotional pain is, that is causing you to self harm? If you know what it is specifically, you need to find ways of dealing with it so that you don't feel that you need to physically hurt yourself anymore.
If you don't know what it is specifically, then you need to sit down and think about it. Or talk to someone about it to try and get to the root cause of it.

You can't deal with the reaction before you've dealt with the cause.
Good luck.

I used to cut myself, too.. a lot. Now I regret that I did it because of all the ugly scars, I also now realize that I was doing it as a form of self punishment, for being different and not knowing why.

It's incredibly hard to stop. I do it everyday of my life and I go fairly deep to the point blood rushes out of my arm.

I've heard methods where you soak your arm in ice water, it gives you a great deal of pain and you get the rush from cutting, but nothing actually happens to your arm. I'm not sure how it will affect you or not. I just got that advice from my therapist.

Other than that, it's incredibly hard to stop, you just want to do it more and more and go deeper and deeper... you should probably have less of a difficult time stopping since you only do it weekly.

I know that cutting (or "stimmimg") can be a common occurance for someone dealing with AS and I dont take it lightly, but in my own life the physical damage to my body that has been inflicted accidently easily replaces any need to hurt myself on purpose.

walking into walls
stepping off curbs and twisting ankles
putting up Christmas lights and falling off the roof

ect. ect. ect.