Parents Making Life Miserable

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I've always had issues with my parents....In jr. high when I was surprisingly making new friends I lost them due to my parents being waaaaaaay overprotective. And I have an older sister and she got the freedom to do what she wanted, and like as I got older I never got to do the stuff she did, my parents didn't allow it. But a few years after that, I guess things turned and I just wanted to be alone all the time and felt like no one got me. Anyway, I think their overprotectiveness is a big reason why I am who I am today...I mean, I know the asperger's plays a part, too, an all too big part sadly, but still...I don't know, I think I'd be able to survive more in the real world had I been able to live and experience stuff. And I'm almost 21 and I've finally realized that my teenage years are really over and I don't have anything to show for them, but scars both figuratively and real ones, too. I keep trying to have hope, but I honestly don't see things changing. I FINALLY got accepted by the state so now I have to pick an agency which I feel has the best services for me so maybe that'll help? Anyway...I think the way my parents are now is worse than ever. I was kind of glad when I was diagnosed with asperger's because I knew the stuff my parents blamed me for wasn't my fault and now I have proof. And after I was diagnosed, things started to improve a little, but now it's back to the way it was again. A BIG thing is the volume on the tv set. I have very sensitive ears and my parents are getting older and going deaf. Everytime I ask them to lower the volume they get mad at me, it's like they only care about their comfort, not mine. And the way I see it is they have a solution-hearing aids, but I really have none, except maybe earplugs? But they don't have the tv on at a normal volume like at other people's houses...they have it VERY VERY VERY loud and so I always have to leave the room. And tonight I wanted to watch American Idol, but of course they had to have the tv blasting loud and we had a fight about it and I ended up going upstairs and not watching it. And so for a while I was on my bed in the dark, hoping that my mom would come upstairs to see if I'm okay or anything and it never happens and it's one of the most lonliest feelings in the word when you feel bad and no one acts like they care. And maybe the noise things seems kind of petty..I don't know, but it annoys me and they know I have sensitve hearing, yet it's like they could care less. And there's also other stuff going on, that has been going on for years that's been making my life worse and I really finally feel like I'm at the breaking point. When I try to talk to them, they don't listen or they just yell, claiming that they are right, I'm wrong. Case closed. If I question them I just get yelled at again so I've learned to try to keep my mouth shut, but they're so close minded and messed up. Anyway, sorry if this is long..I didn't mean for it to be, I just needed to vent.

Your parents sound like mine.

If there isn't a way for you to try and relate to them so that they see your difficulties as well (and for many people, there is such a thing, but I have no experience with it), then maybe your best option is to remove yourself from the situation. Perhaps you can't leave home, but you can avoid having to spend more time or effort than necessary with them (be out of the house a lot, spend time in rooms where you are comfortable when you are at home, don't initiate conversations that are likely to result in argument even if you wish you could). Maybe you do need to get the earplugs, or noise-isolating earphones for your computer/mp3 player/whatever... just so that you can remove yourself at least mentally, if not physically.

On the other hand, for some people, a big blow-up is exactly what they need to get the message across that THEY ARE SERIOUS. This could be an issue if you have not been very assertive in your own needs? Perhaps your parents think that they are not very "necessary" because you haven't been advocating for yourself enough?

Or... if you and your parents both want/are willing to take this step... there is counseling, too. Useless with the wrong counselor, or if one party isn't really into it... but with the right person and a little bit of give, it can be great (seen this with a friend's family).

(For the record, I took the first option with my own family, because there was no hope of actually gaining anything from being assertive or angry, and if my parents ever did agree to counseling, it would only be so that they could tell the counselor all of my deficiencies in their eyes, and hopefully gain a third supporter in their war against me.
And, frankly, I'm just glad that the first option lets me deal with them as little as possible. I would love to have no contact with them, but at this stage of my life, I can't.)

minimising your contact with them will help u. move out ASAP if u can. try opening up to a supportive independant person that can help u.

I feel you ...I´m 21 years old, ALWAYS had lot´s of issues with my parents . I was never the son they would have liked me to be, and they were never comprehensive with me ..

We just found out I have Aspergers Syndrome but they don´t seem too care anymore ,I mean it´s to damm late for them to make any changes at all ..for them it´s just like an excuse for me acting odd ..I also have to face the fact that the teenage years are gone and I never felt like a real teen , I was home schooled for a while ´cause I didn´t wanted to have a relationship with people, so I missed alot i think.

Right now all I want to and i´m planning to do is move out from my parents house.

I hope things improve with you soon!

Trust me, you are not alone in this. I live with my mom right now, but if it wasn't for the fact that I don't want to live alone, or her to be alone as well, I would have moved out a long time ago.