hate AS sometimes

Post Reply New Topic

Just needed to have a rant about life. It was my first day back at uni today after the easter holidays and everyone was catching up, chatting etc etc. Of course you can guess who was the one sat on his own again. Sometimes I just hate the whole AS thing. People tell me its a 'gift' and I should be happy to be able think outside the box etc but I'm sick of being on the outside looking in all the time. I know most of the people on my course well enough to say hello to but they always seem to have someone better to associate with when I'm about. Until they want help with work, revision etc of course. I'm sick of trying to fit in and getting nowhere over and over again. I've had this as long as I can remember Why do I bother? Just getting sick of it all at the moment...

Any thoughts welcome

I've realized that fitting in was overrated. The whole social life thing is a load of bullsh*t that serves no purpose. I was so much happier once I realized that and I hope that in time you will be too.

I understand what you mean...It feels empty and unsatisfying sometimes

There are far worse things in life than being alone. Honestly, after many years of trying to at least camoflauge my differences and fly under the acceptance radar (better to be invisible than chased by frightened villagers with torches and pitchforks), I've adopted the mantra of screen legend Greta Garbo: "I Vant to be alone!". Truth be told, when you do find yourself in the middle of the social peer group, it generally turns out to be more trouble than it's worth. Not that a real friend or two isn't a nice thing to have once or twice in your life, rest assured those will come along in their own time and in life's own natural rhythm.

On the other hand, I also used to think that social acceptance was a useless artifact, but I have to admit after many years in the workforce, that the fact that I often avoided unnecessary social interaction in the workplace has never helped further my career. The fact that I focused so intently on being good at the aspects of the job I enjoyed that I showed all the NTs up, added to the fact that I avoided large staff meetings and never attended after hours social functions actually resulted in the lesser performers getting promoted and me getting fired because they were more malleable tools (pun intended).

Yeah I defintely agree that being in a social group can be stressful. Its like people have never grown out of the playground (I suppose in many ways they haven't; the power games etc have just become more complex). I didn't like it back at school and I don't really like it now. I just wish that sometimes I could enjoy these things as much as others seem to. I have some good friends that I can trust and who I genuinely connect with but they are very few and far between and it would be nice to have some more but there just seem to be so few genuine people around. Everyone seems to be playing games and forming and dissolving cliques that I can't keep up with (and find quite offensive when the backstabbing reaches a certain level). Why can't people just be straightforward and get to now someone before they decide to like them?! Sheep!! !

As you might be able to tell its been another day of it!