Nico's demise

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I have been feeling suicidal for a long time now and on Tuesday I finally found the courage to act on these suicidal feelings. I took 21 tablets (that's the total I could find) and waited for 2 hours. In the meantime, I wrote 2 letters, one to my parents and one to my sister describing why I wanted to die. After the 2 hour period, I told my mum who then took me to hospital.

Upon arriving, I had my blood pressure and heart rate checked and both were normal. I then had my blood checked to see if I had any heart problems. After this, myself and my mum were told to wait for the results of the blood test which would take a couple of hours. We waited, my mum on a chair and myself on an ironing board-sized bed, for the results. 3 hours later, approximately 2am, I walked out of the hospital feeling tired and frustrated and walked aimlessly towards the road. If a car had driven past, I would have thrown myself under it, but mum called me and took me to the car. I went home and slept.

The next day, I told a few people on here what happened and I was so happy to be around friends and not be judged negatively. Yesterday, I texted a friend from college (a fellow drummer) about my suicide attempt and she texted back: "You're an amazingly different individual that is so cool! Who would I have to make me laugh?! Don't ever give up because the world deserves to see you and your beautiful red hair! Peace out drum buddy! X x x"

I would like to thank Social_Fantom, KingofKaboom, ebec11, Kilroy and countless others for helping me a great deal. Thank you a lot for encouraging me not to give up.

Last edited by Nico on 12 Apr 2008, 1:20 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Did the people at the emergency room know that it was an attempted suicide? Years ago when I did that, I was kept in the psych ward for two weeks for assessment and treatment.

Sounds alot like my story. ;/

PM me if you need support. I'd still be depressed had it not been for my WP friends.

They did know it was attempted suicide, didn't make any difference to the help I got.

886, I've sent you a PM.

I'm glad we were all able to help. I don't know what I would do without my friends on WP. I've been falling deeper into depression myself lately but my friends help lift me up. They are the first true friends I've ever had and I've never meet them in person.

This probably sounds trite, but life does get better eventually.

I'm pretty new to WP, but I did work as a crisis counselor for a while and I'd be more than willing to talk with you if you felt the need to do so.

Did you ever get the results?
I'm glad you didn't die, you're such a sweet person. I understand why you feel suicidal though, that's what depression does to you - makes you feel worthless Just know that you're not.
Have you thought of getting a therapist, so you can work on some of your problems? It's actually pretty common now to need one now. I've been in therapy for two years, and I find I have made a lot of progress. Though I still have a lot of issues towards my father, at least I'm not in denial about it anymore.
Thanks for the thank you

Wow, I didn't know what happened to you.

Just know you're not alone. Remember you can always pm too if you're ever feeling down or up or anything.

Glad to see back on WP!

ebec11, the results showed no significant damage so I'm totally fine. I am going to see my psychiatrist on Monday so I'll find out about therapy and other forms of help then.

MissConstrue, thank you. It's nice to feel welcomed here

Just remember that we are all here for you whenever you need us.

We'll help you with any problem you have.

Okay, that's good. I know it's helpful for most people to have somebody to talk to.

Remember that you can PM me as well if you want an honest opinion or just somebody to lean on

That's just wrong.

I guess some places just don't have the resources to follow through, perhaps.

I agree, I think they don't have the staff or substantial funds to provide a good service. I intend to complain though. I could have easily gone away and committed suicide, like I mentioned earlier.

Give em hell Nico!! They would have been responsible if anything had happened to you.

You seem an interesting person Nico, you're friendly, not dramatic, intelligent. So won't you agree it would have been a shame if you really did it? That does not mean I can't imagine the feeling. I've had it, I've seen it (a lot) and I must repeat the horrible cliche. You can beat it. Hopefully WP helps you with it but the most important step is to want it. It sounds like you found some will from this somehow. It shouldn't be a demise.


On the hospital: here in the Netherlands it is mostly the same. The psychiatric departments of most hospitals are full anyway. In my gf's case there was a talk with a psychiatrist, but they were not all so very good. In the end always she was just send to her own psychologist again. At one time what you are talking about sort of happened with us. Outside the hospital she took pills again, so it was Norit again. And a nurse saying it was sabotage. Everything did turn out a lot better thankfully, medicine and a psychologist who knows aspergers...

Agreed! Though maybe try the professional way of complaining before doing a protest or something spontansious like that