I guess I'm in denial :/

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Well, I kind of knew it, but I've been suppressing it for quite some time now.

Recently in the past months I've felt pretty bad about myself. Thoughts about me having no life, no girlfriend (at least for a long time), and otherwise being behind my peers (if you know what I mean). It has concerned me for some time. I have been reminded of this, both offline, outside and around, and online. Recently I was told that I had no life on a online forum for ranting about a certain online portion of a game. I usually never do this, this is probably the first time I've done something like this in a year or two. This usually doesn't bother me, but it just reminds me of many problems I have. I regret ranting now, I guess I was just in a bad mood.

I feel I bring nothing to society, I am useless, utterly pathetic and stupid. Any positives I look it may cheer me up for a minute or two but it never helps.

The positives I have come up with are

-At least I have a few friends, that I hang out with lots at school
-I do a small service to my neighbourhood, delivering papers/catalouges/misc (but seriously, being a paper boy at 16 is pathetic IMO of course).
-I go out with a small youth group, usually once every 2 weeks (around there), to do stuff with other people.
-I'm actually doing pretty good in school at the moment

But the cons outweigh the pro's. I want a real job, I want some friends outside of school so I can (or possibly, if my parents don't be totally overprotective as usual) go outside and hang out with them (my school friends live a ways away). I spend too much time in front of my computer, doing homework, listening to music, playing video game's or browsing sites like this (forums).

Some people (including my parents and myself) have noticed how quiet I have become. Its because of this. I denie that I am even slightly depressed, so there is no worries.

The girls I like, I *try to* restrict myself from them. How are I to make them feel happy right now?

Damn, well. Any comments, and I mean any, would be appreciated. Thank you for taking the time to read this.

that reminds me of myself, in a lot of ways, only i didn't have a job at all

Its always nice to hear someone who can relate

Well, thanks for the reply.

I just watched some Trigger Happy clips, they are really funny, made me feel better.

I think I'll take a bit back on the me being pathetic and stupid towards society part. I think I went a bit overboard there, damn emotions.

this is great. being a paper boy is a real job. what kind of job are you expecting at 16?

everyone would love to be useful to society but at your age, dont be too stressed about it. there are a lot of people in their 20s who havent been useful to the society. take your time to figure out about yourself, what you're good at, what you like to do, once you find something, than focus on it and start contributing to society but dont rush it.

Good point, i myself am in my 20's (21), work transit security, and haven't finished my college education, or really even started much of it

Thanks guys .

I'm expecting like a job that requires a SIN (Social Insurance Number) here in Canada. These jobs are like Save on Foods, Mcdonalds etc. I see a lot of people my age have them, thats why I feel so behind (that, and they are getting their Learners License for driving, some of them, I am studying for one though).

Anyways, thanks again for the posts, very appreciated

hey there!

Look.. at 16, I am IMPRESSED that you even wonder/think about what you could bring to society! While most people in their 30's, 40s etc..don't give a dime about how they contribute and only wonder about making their life better, you at 16 actually think about so much more. You should be proud of yourself, of your mind and heart. Other things Aspies, imo, bring to society are: a rational mind (excellent for decision making, for constructing arguments), very good focus...most scientists, mathematicians, inventors, engineers need and use precisely these qualities. I think someone else on this forum has said that MANY of the above professions are populated with people on the AS spectrum

And what kind of job would you have in mind at 16? In my state, it's barely legal to work...and there are restrictions to what 16-year-olds can do. You'll be able to do something else a bit later, don't worry. Don't be your biggest, strictest critic:) Relax a bit..

Those girls you were thinking about...maybe you should do something about it:) Talk to them or something? Don't even think about making them happy, what you could offer them etc..why aren't you thinking what can they offer you? Maybe they too are going through puberty and are shy, insecure, unsure of who they are and what they want (although they may act as if they're care-free).

Hugs! Smile, sweetie!