Were you yelled at, spanked or beaten for havnig accidents?

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How were you punished for having accidents?
I was hollered at 41%  41%  [ 7 ]
I was spanked 29%  29%  [ 5 ]
I was beaten 24%  24%  [ 4 ]
I was denied food 6%  6%  [ 1 ]
Total votes : 17

CockneyRebel
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15 May 2008, 11:01 am

Were you yelled at, spanked or beaten for having accidents or wetting the bed, when you were a child? My mum yelled at me, as loud as she could, whenever I soiled my underwear. The last time that it happened, was the Halloween Night that I was 6. My mum yelled at me so loud, that I became so afraid to look at my own poop, that I was holding it in, until after supper, when I was alone in the bathroom, until I was 11. Looking at my poop in the toilet would send shivers down my spine, every time that I had to put the lid down, before I'd flush the poop down. After the age of eleven, I've strained as hard as I could, to get as much poop out of my body, in fear of having an accident, until the muscles and nerves gave out on me, a couple Decembers ago. This isn't about my current "problem", though. It's about how I was deliberately hollered at, for something that I couldn't control, as a small child. My sister was spanked, by the way. If you weren't hollered at, spanked or beaten, were you denied food?


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Last edited by CockneyRebel on 15 May 2008, 11:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

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15 May 2008, 11:16 am

You should have a `none of the above` option. I can`t remember my parents punishing me for having accidents at all. Maybe an embarassing joke, or a mention of how big kids use the toilet, but no real punishment.



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15 May 2008, 11:38 am

That's a good idea.


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15 May 2008, 11:41 am

I can't edit the polls, now but if your response was none of the above, or that you were denied fluids, I'd like to hear from you, as well.


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15 May 2008, 12:34 pm

My dad beat me for everything. He'd use a belt so he wouldn't 'hurt himself'. If he was hitting me hard enough to hurt himself, it was to damned hard to hit a kid.


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15 May 2008, 12:46 pm

I don't remember being punished.
They weren't really accidents on my part, I was deathly afraid of public (or school) bathrooms and would not go in there. They were big, loud and scary.
Funny nobody ever asked me about this back then.....



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16 May 2008, 6:37 am

I was having a flashback, yesterday. Don't parents realize what they're doing to their kids? The thing that pisses me off, is that my mum knew that I was on the spectrum, when the last isolated incident took place. From that moment, until I was diagnosed with Depression, 'I'm a Loser' by The Beatles was my favourite song. I was convinced that I was put into Special Ed as a punishments for not reaching some of my milestones, on time. I was convinced that I was in a special needs job training programme, for not reaching some of my milestones, on time. I was convinced that I was doing the simplest tasks in a factory, as a punishment, for not reaching some of my milestones, on time. I was having flashbacks, day after day, at work, because my tasks were so simple. The thing that caused the flashbacks, were the bottled up feelings that I had, when my mum didn't understand why I was obsessed with the stuff that I was, and thinking that I was still talking about my special interests, non-stop at the age of 20, when I haven't done such a thing, since my 11th birthday. Some of our parents think that it's okay to scold us for wetting/soiling ourselves before that magic age, or going on about our obsessions. No wonder I've crossed the line from being a rebel, to being that little bit more of a rebel. I can't sleep, right now. My thoughts are racing. I'm wondering if my medications are beginning to wear off. I'm not going back to the 1960s. I'm certain about that. I bow never to be vulnerable, again. I don't know if there's such a thing as a vulnerable 60s-like Mod, but I'd much rather be a Punker. I've had my mother treat me like crap, for losing control of my crap, for the last time, when I was 6. I don't need to be treated like crap, by some of the people here, for having to wear Depends, now. As for the Punker thing, I do recall stating in a note to my parents, that I can be who I truly am, living on my own. I guess that the Mod stage happened, because I didn't know who I was, or I didn't want my parents to kick me out, before I was ready to make the move, which I was in 2006, and I'm happy that I did. I really wonder if parents realize what they set their spectrum offspring up, for.


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16 May 2008, 7:04 am

*Twitches* o_@;;


Never happened to me.
So no.
I've always had more self-control like that... and frankly even thinking about it disgusts me.



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16 May 2008, 7:40 am

A couple of times, when I was very young, my father yelled at me and spanked me despite the clear history of bed wetting by him and in our family. He stopped after my mother sternly reminded him that it's not my fault.

Like someone else on my mother's side, I have had "accidents" all my life. That person lived feeling shame about it all his life, and never went on vacations because of it. Now that's kind of sad, imo. My dad did till he was 18, and yet he spanked me? I just don't get that.

I don't think it's fair to punish a child for these things, because they, and even we, don't do it on purpose, and it's beyond control. It's enough to already feel embarasment about it, it's another to literaly make an innocent person feel shame for no good reason. I really don't like to wake up at 5 am in the morning to the descovery of a damp bed pad! But if someone wants to get in my face and tell me that I have nerve for wakeing up damp, they might just feel my anger.

What makes even less sence to me, is the fact that I wasn't punished or spanked for deliberatly wizzing in my desk chair several times at school back in the first grade. :? :?: I mean, punish for the one that's out of control, yet don't for the one that's controlable? huh? *scratches head* Ok, so you wear depends. Is that so wrong? :)



Last edited by LiendaBalla on 16 May 2008, 9:42 am, edited 3 times in total.

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16 May 2008, 7:43 am

I'd say that I was whipped - something between spanking and beating - until my dad revealed to my mom that he had the same problem when he was a boy. My mom thought that I was just being obstinate.

BTW, the last time I wet the bed was in the 9th grade when my family was on a very stressful visit to an uncle's house.

If parents realized that you can't help it, maybe they'd stop punishing.

Z



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16 May 2008, 9:38 am

This is the Haven. We support each other here. Members support each other in The Haven. If you don't like this thread, than don't post in it.


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LiendaBalla
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16 May 2008, 9:43 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
This is the Haven. We support each other here. Members support each other in The Haven. If you don't like this thread, than don't post in it.


:?: :?: I replied like I did because you asked.

Anyhow, to add, I agree that she shouldn't have punished you for things you can't help. Sorry you were so unconfortable. That's just not fair huh.



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16 May 2008, 9:55 am

LiendaBalla wrote:
CockneyRebel wrote:
This is the Haven. We support each other here. Members support each other in The Haven. If you don't like this thread, than don't post in it.


:?: :?: I replied like I did because you asked.

Anyhow, to add, I agree that she shouldn't have punished you for things you can't help. Sorry you were so unconfortable. That's just not fair huh.


It is unfair, and I don't want rude people coming in here and bragging about their perfect control, flaming me. My problems were and are very real, and I hope nobody else makes an attack on this thread.


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16 May 2008, 11:37 am

SotiCoto wrote:
*Twitches* o_@;;


Never happened to me.
So no.
I've always had more self-control like that... and frankly even thinking about it disgusts me.


Good. I'm happy for you. If you can't find anything nice to say, than don't say anything at all. I'm glad that you're so flawlessly clean and perfect, and If you don't like this thread, than don't post in it, anymore. Maybe you can post in the more advanced threads, since you're so perfect.


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16 May 2008, 8:31 pm

CockneyRebel wrote:
I was having a flashback, yesterday. Don't parents realize what they're doing to their kids? The thing that pisses me off, is that my mum knew that I was on the spectrum, when the last isolated incident took place. From that moment, until I was diagnosed with Depression, 'I'm a Loser' by The Beatles was my favourite song. I was convinced that I was put into Special Ed as a punishments for not reaching some of my milestones, on time. I was convinced that I was in a special needs job training programme, for not reaching some of my milestones, on time. I was convinced that I was doing the simplest tasks in a factory, as a punishment, for not reaching some of my milestones, on time. I was having flashbacks, day after day, at work, because my tasks were so simple. The thing that caused the flashbacks, were the bottled up feelings that I had, when my mum didn't understand why I was obsessed with the stuff that I was, and thinking that I was still talking about my special interests, non-stop at the age of 20, when I haven't done such a thing, since my 11th birthday. Some of our parents think that it's okay to scold us for wetting/soiling ourselves before that magic age, or going on about our obsessions. No wonder I've crossed the line from being a rebel, to being that little bit more of a rebel. I can't sleep, right now. My thoughts are racing. I'm wondering if my medications are beginning to wear off. I'm not going back to the 1960s. I'm certain about that. I bow never to be vulnerable, again. I don't know if there's such a thing as a vulnerable 60s-like Mod, but I'd much rather be a Punker. I've had my mother treat me like crap, for losing control of my crap, for the last time, when I was 6. I don't need to be treated like crap, by some of the people here, for having to wear Depends, now. As for the Punker thing, I do recall stating in a note to my parents, that I can be who I truly am, living on my own. I guess that the Mod stage happened, because I didn't know who I was, or I didn't want my parents to kick me out, before I was ready to make the move, which I was in 2006, and I'm happy that I did. I really wonder if parents realize what they set their spectrum offspring up, for.



Who treats you bad here for your medical condition? Those who do are just dumb asses. Who needs them. I would like to have them go incontinent and have to wear diapers, see how they like that? :twisted:

And another thing I don't understand is if your parents knew you were on the spectrum, why did they still abuse you for your accidents? :? Have you ever asked them why?



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17 May 2008, 12:04 am

I wasnt yelled at for having accidents, but I was yelled at very abusively by teachers because of things I said that I didnt realise were wrong to say. I still feel upset over the way I was treated by these teachers, especially a particular principal.

Im sorry your parents yelled at you over accidents. Yelling at a child is no way to deal with things like that, just make the child feel afraid.


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