Used and Abused

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Umm...yeah. So, I'm someone who has Asperger's, and well, I usually have only one friend/girlfriend at a time. This is because, as I have been reading, I'm asocial really. I find someone I'm comfortable with, and they either develops into a friendship, or a romantic relationship. Anyways, I often feel like I have been wronged by these people. As a result, I have been depressed out of my mind. I'm in college now, but I really don't want to be, because this is where most of my problems take root. I often have explosive fits and it winds up with me breaking down and sobbing "I don't want to go college again"--I have one more year left. I have often thought about--and would, if it were not that too much money has been put into it-dropping out of college. I have trouble communicating with people, and my second ex left me because I simply had problems communicating with her. At any rate, here we go--and I'm hoping I'm keeping this family friendly, but we shall see...

) People there who are sincere are actually insincere. This can be evidenced by:

a) The first girlfriend I had

Oh sure, she loved me. Loved me so much that she cheated on me. Loved me so much that she made a point of lying about it to my face for 10 months. Loved me so much that she refuses to leave me alone even after I've shot her an email to that effect. She used to communicate with me by saying "I love you, but not in the same way I love Chris [her REAL lover]," or "You're my family guy buddy," or "I'm crushing on someone else, but I'll stay with you."

b) THe first roomy I had

OH sure, he cared about me. Cared about me so much that, even after I made my parents promise their offer to pay his tuition, got me out of a roomy deal (which sometimes I wonder whether it would have been better off for me), kept booze in the room, and introduced me to this girl who complains all the time, and who I really don't want to be friends with anymore, a girl who, when I had--idk what you'd call it, but she called me her boyfriend at one point, even though I'd never met her--a relationship with her--would complain to HIM about ME, rather than talking to ME about it. He single-handedly ended the relationship. IT WAS NONE OF HIS BUSINESS.

c) The second girlfriend I had.

OH sure, she cared about me. Called me her boyfriend. Turns out, she was...using me (I can't say much else because this supposed to be family friendly). At any rate, I wasn't really her boyfriend; I was...expendable. And once I got too annoying to her...oop! She decided to go shop her wares elsewhere. After the breakup she would consistently plant herself (with the guise of "I'm hanging out with my friends") in spots where I couldn't avoid her. I knew where she was most of the time, so I decided to avoid those areas. But whenever she saw me, she exploited it. Even hit on people--or so I've been told--that I knew, and only people that I knew.

d) My second roommate.

Oh sure, he cared about my feelings. Cared so much about them that, even after I made great pains to ask if he needed his "alone time" with his g/f, would decide that "No, not going to need it tonight." So idiot me would plan his time accordingly. But of course, he would come back later that day and tell me "You have 1/2 hour to get out," meanwhile I was under the impression that he wasn't going to have his girlfriend over. He even wanted to have her over on the day my dad was coming over to move me out! And they'd...visit (Again, family friendy) on MY side of the room...I know this because the smell would linger over my side, particularly over my chair. He wouldn't even interact with me. I'd make a comment "I watched Deal or no Deal today..." No response. "Want to go out to Friendly's?" "Sorry, nope...you have to RESERVE YOUR TIMESLOT with me FAR in advance."He is NOT going to hear from me EVER again, and by the time this entry is done, he will be deleted from my phone book. You think I'm going to even consider wishing him a happy graduation? HA! I hope he falls off the stage when he graduates, and lands flat on his face -.-

As a result, I often stay in my room, even when I'm at home. Are there good people? Well, hopefully this forum is full of them! But I have yet to meet one good person in real life. As a result, I have come to the conclusion that the world is a cold, dark, evil place. I hide in my room, I really do, because I know that if I speak to the wrong person, I will wind up being used and abused all over again.

My question is: How do I recognize when I am being used and abused? I don't pick up on social cues very well at all, and could use a little help regarding reading social cues and how to stop a bad relationship (of any sort) before it goes to becoming a worse relationship.

I have a habit of turning off people, as well. I can go to a room of about 20 people, all packed up and ready to go somewhere, and ask them "Where are you going?" And not a single person would respond. My roomy would ask the exact same question, word for word, and he'd get a response. True, I walk around with noise-cancelling headphones on my head, but this is only because I don't want to interact with people, and am afraid of getting hurt if I do interact with someone, always fearing that they will turn out to be a bad person.

Asocial doesn't exactly fit me right now, more like (to coin a phrase): A socially phobic person.

wow, you have met some bad peoples.. lets see clues.....
one clue is if they are doing something that really upsets you and you tell them it upsets you and they persist in doing it.
the complain to someone else about you and not telling you thing is another.

you could do with some professional help with this social phobia.. you should go to a professional you trust and they can give you assistance to help you with it. because if you have self confidence (which you don't have right now) people will be less likely to try this BS. and hopefully nice people will be attracted to you.