bad living situation

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today,both am social worker and LD-CPN came here together and wanted to know about the sexual abuse and staff abuse that happened to am [the sexual abuse was at the institution,and a lot of the abuse and neglect was at there and both residential homes have been/am still in],the national autistic society bosses had informed them of this at review meeting on friday,as the home managers had kept it from getting out.
the sexual abuse stuff means nothing to am as am didnt understand it at the time,and only found out what it was when sister found out.
a few of the staff had been watching it opposite and am overheard them say 'it's okay,he can get away with it as she doesnt understand whats going on,let him at it'.
the physical and mental abuse from the staff has been much worse,and so has the complete ignorance they have shown towards am/the needs am have.
so,to find out the NAS are not letting those b*****ds hide it any longer [even though its years late] has been great thinking about all day.

am have an ok day today,had had a bad meltdown,and was left paralised in the legs--the NAS have tried to get am a wheel chair,but the same managers from the LD services again are refusing to allow it saying am dont need it,when am can be paralised for up to a day,it can happen anywhere-it has happened in country parks before and am would like to challenge them to go into the deepest part,have a meltdown,become paralised and have to drag self all the way out by the wrists because they're too cheap to pay for much 2-1 support and too nasty to allow wheel chair use,for some reason-they have allowed another lady who lives here to have a wheel chair just for when she gets tired,she does not have a condition that causes tiredness,since when is normal tiredness more need of a wheel chair than complete paralisis in both legs? it is f*******g stupid.

the usual nas residential staff arrived and she knew what am was going to be buying as it has been planned for weeks but the manager didnt allow it everytime coming up with different excuses,the staff said am had the money for it that is not the problem,the manager always wants am to use up every single spare bit of money towards going to that stupid care bill that they caused [am wasnt able to go into post offices with staff for sensory and meltdown reasons,but instead of setting up another way to pay off the care bill they just left it,and it built up] and today kept refusing to allow the cat tree to be bought,until Dawn [nas staff] got involved with her and said they have been getting hopes up by saying am can get one and ruining them every week,and that am can get the cheaper one.
so,they agreed and am went to pets at home [am go there every monday] to get the cat tree,and went for a drive around wilmslow,alderly edge etc.
turned out to be a nice day.
anyway,after dawn went,the night staff came up and the other staff am have said she was going home,she noticed am had left the hoover outside in a hall where am unable to see it and brought it back in...the end of a nice day.
am share the top floor of the home with david as he has problems with noise to but is fine with hoovers.
so the staff who was going home decided to have a rant saying this is davids home [she didnt say this is davids home as well or this is davids and emmas home,how obvious are they making it out that they dont want am here?] and am not allowed to move that hoover,it is davids choice where to put it.
the staff-and others keep leaving it wherever am able to see it,and they know am have a big problem with just seeing it because of the pain,overload and meltdowns am have suffered when it has been turned on,it feels like its going to turn on all the time,and am cannot cope with being anywhere near it.
am have complained and more understanding nightstaff have complained on behalf of am,but they dont listen.
the same b******ds made life hell for am when am used to bring GFB in because they said david doesnt like cats-not even looking at them,so everytime am bring him anywhere near,they start ranting at am,just how is that different to how am with hoovers? why should they be allowed to keep cats out of here-even out of own bedroom when am have door shut,with staff saying its because david will be thinking about them being in here--when they dont give am the same treatment?
am have kept GFB out till now,but why should carry on keeping him out,when they cant even do the same for am?

am so fed up of every f******g thing am do being seen as a way to control everyone else in this place,and am fed up of being seen as a guest when am pay just as much as anyone else.
am almost got staff to phone dad for am to come and get am so could move back there,but realised he wrote hes working a night shift, on offline msn messages,so am have been trying to get by tonight with the two new extra tegretol tablets am have at night and a couple of strong pain killers.
am have been tempted by cutting tonight,and almost trashed room but am lucky in that meds started working before they could build up.

None of those b*****ds understand am [and in fact,the one staff am thought did understand,is the one who is treating am like crap],and have extreme ignorance,this morning one of them refused to help with tying shoe laces because she said 'are able to work a computer,so are able to tie own shoe laces' she also mentioned that am an adult now, as if that means are able to do all the stereotypical things that kids can do.
its her and other staff who have started am regressing in terms of looking for help,as am only recently became able to,now theyre reversing it all again.

am really really really really want to get out of here,if am such a f*******g burden on everyone here why dont they help the NAS and LD services find am a new home,or STFU and learn to understand its not easy for am either?




who else is in a bad living situation?
how do cope with it? and have tried anything to help it?

Who is "am"?

@Fnord...she is am.


I'm sorry you are having to deal with this but I am glad that you seem to have at least one good support advocate person in NAS. I would love to advocate for autistics and others because I think I can empathise when most of the staff I worked with in DD resident had no empathy at all and were generally lazy, cruel or selfish. Ironic, since they are the ones that are supposed to be empathetic.

I worked for 4 years in a residence like the one you are describing. There were 4 guys living there and the management and most of the staff were horrible. They see willing to hire people that are so incompetent they can't do any other kind of job. The "new trend" in my state is to import staff from other countries who actually seem to hate people with disabilities and do nothing but talk on their cell phones and ignore the guys in the house So, unfortunately, you are not alone in your living situation. I saw this kind of thing everyday that I worked there and when I would try and advocate for the guys, I would just get ignored...the guys liked me but other staff and manager hated me. I have seen this company do some very illogical things that seem to be based on nothing more then that they can...power tripping.

Can you talk to the NAS person about joining a different company.We do have one company that I am going to apply to that is supposed to actually care abt the "clients". Don't ever forget...You are their boss and pay their checks. I wish hey would remember this

am sorry for not replying yet...had not forgotten,but find it very difficult to relate? to direct communication,and have to build up to it.

thanks krex,
it all sounds very familiar,even down to importing staff and them using their phones all the time and ignoring residents!
in a way,it is good to know it isnt just here that its happening,it has felt like being a councils' secret.

everyone else who lives here [david,jean,mark,beverly,marie and sandra] get put with the type of staff have mentioned [imported,on the phones all the time,ignoring residents etc]-though sometimes get the home [council/ld services] staff,am lucky in that am seen as being too high complex needs for agency though they have tried in the past,am have own two agency waking night staff but they are experienced,trained in a lot of stuff and understand...mostly,they dont do the gossip/phone marathon thing either.


if its anything Krex,
one thing am notice is-that the staff who are always nasty about other staff,going on about them when theyre not there,it is usually because that staff is a lot nicer than them,at least am have never not liked the staff they;re always nasty about.
were probably hated because actually were a proper support staff, rather than use it to gossip about others and had an understanding for residents rather than ignorance.



the only alternative to LD services am have is with the NAS,and Dawn said finding a suitable residential home in suitable area is very difficult,they're supposed to be looking at countryside areas,have been given an extra day of funding for NAS staff as well,so there will be a lot less crap from home staff on monday/wensday/thursday/friday.
am need to be moved soon,as am constantly having to get staff to go down and tell jean to stop shouting and banging the doors,and mark to turn his hifi down [its always up full and can feel the building shake with it],almost all the staff have a rant at am for daring to even sign that its too much,they didnt even recognise that am had been head banging most of the day,trashed room and had several meltdowns because of the noise.

What does "am" stand for?

"Am"=kingdomofrats...don't you guys speak english..really, you can't figure it out

Thanks for ther info...I hope you get out of there soon. I only had to spend 12 hour shifts and got to go home afterwords...mostly swearing all the way home. The guys were stuck there all the time, no wonder they had "anger issues". I imagine the staff would be angry to if they were the ones sitting naked in a shower chair, while someone who is paid to help you talked on their cell phones