THe other day my dad yelled at me.

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I asked to do a simple thing, not leave coffee lying around. Coffee is one those things you cant have when your trying to heal from psyche meds. THe meds have wrecked most of myself control so if there is a giant pot lying around im gonna drink it. Instead he starts ranting
about,"why cant i have coffee?! and He even called me a selfish bastard. He said well just dont drink it, i said i cant the meds have wrecked my self control and im addicted to coffee to wich he responded your full of sh*t.

Hes been like this my whole life, never wanting to lift so much as a finger to help me, expecting everyone else to raise his child, the schools, the church/ccd, the therapsists and psychiatrists they dragged me off to. He never wanted to do any work as a parent, so i was always left not knowing what to do or what the boundaries were, and then when i went a little over the line he
would scream at me and make sarcastic degrading comments for hours.

How mean! I love coffie alot to. *hugs* He's acting like a three year old brat in a man's body. 'sigh' Coffie is everywhere, it must be very frustrating.

thanks

Maybe he just wants to help you become stronger, and that is the only way he knows how. Maybe, in his mind, he really believes that he is helping you by trying to get you to toughen up.

i'd be ask if coffee's so easy to give up why is it made and in the house if its not hard to give up , are you making the coffee
your self?? get it out of the house! see how easy it is for him to give it up.
tell him just don't drink it!

Keep in mind that sometimes our parents have some of the same difficulties we do. Is it possible he needs the caffeine to stimulate him? I'd try to be flexible but it is hard. Can you try to find a compromise somehow? Maybe he can have coffee in the morning while you are going for a walk, and go out for coffee the rest of the time. Maybe if you get him "coffee" gift certificates he can use outside the house, you'll show him you respect and value his needs, while communicating that you need his support to get over the caffeine addiction for a while. Remind him it wont be forever I hope he gets it.

Sounds like he's not open to discussion on it. We live in a world where we're surrounded by people's addictions: sugar, coffee, alcohol. It's hard. I'm glad you get to vent here. Sounds like he's proctecting his addiction. When people are in that place it's hard to talk to them. It sounds like, from what I heard from you so far, that you should just believe in yourself and try to work around him and the coffee, though it is hard. Keep going in your direction without opposing. Best. Hugs!

Sounds like Dad is not a very good parent.

This is is both my parents "hugs"

My overreacts to me refilling the distilled water (she's into water purificiation, which I have nothing against)
She overreacts to me forgotting to put plates in the sink, etc

My dad oth, is inordinately self-righteous and self-opinionated. Everything in the universe must behave the way he wants it to behave and if there are any aberrations, well, you can finish the sentence.

And oh yeah, he's a misogynist.

So, I can truly understand, it's not your fault it's your dad and his anger mangement issues that he probably derived from his boss!

Jeez, how did your parents every stay married if your dad is a mysoginist?

That sucks.

Could always move out.

I'd personally fill the coffee pot with cyanide and then leave home.

*Shrug*

Regards
GM

What if you accidentally drank the cyanide coffee?