I feel stuck.

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Okay, so in February I left my parents, who were pressuring me to stay with them and go to school, rather than stay in Edmonton alone (instead of gojng with tmy parents to Vancouver ;like they cpnvinced me to do) like my shrink suggested and do things at my own pace. Adverb, whom I met on here, came up and got me. I've lived with him for 6 months, I love him and he loves me, I'm 5 months prenant. But I worry that he won't agree with the way I raise our son. He's had the autism stuff beaten out of him (not literally) by his military parents and then he worked in group homes for a while, and even though he's not functional-- he dropped out of college 5 times because his parents were pressuring him and he didn't really want to, he doesn't work and neither do I, I never even finished high school-- I'm even less functional than he is, and I hate being the least functional one of the two because that makes me feel stupid, lazy, guilty, etc. I'm afraid he'll think I'm being irresponsible by not planning to force our kid to do ANYTHING. Even though I doubt he'll even force the kid to go to school. I'm a spoiled brat, but I promise I'd be more functional if I did things at my own pace. I sometimes feel like going back to Edmonton and living at the YMCA again, and getting some income from Social Services and perhaps and under the table job for a while, because I feel bad depending on Jack even though he loves to have me to depend on him and that. I feel like I need a break from living with anyone. I'm so used to hanging out alone even though I do it all the time here, but that's not the same. I want him to be there when Lars is born and all that and us to live together but then I'm afraid my incompetence or whatever it is will make me need to get away preiodically and not perform the duties I need to.

Stuck in a rut topic

If your parents want you to come and be with them in Canada until the baby is born then this is a good thing. I wosh I had that opportunity with my first child. But I am not one to give advice on relationships as I am not a good partner for a two-person intimate relationship.


And if I am Canadian I would not have any kid in the US. But that is your decision.

Good luck, of course.

It might be better up here because of medical expenses down there, I heard the Alberta government is getting rid of the health care premiums, so it will be a little easier to live.
That looks like a hard decision to be making, with your relationship, would adverb try to
move here, because it would be harder for him if he has no job prospects, there is a lot
of work here, companies are dying for employees, regardless of qualifications.
My ex girlfriend Sandy lived in the YMCA in downtown Edmonton

I miss being at that YMCA because I could o walk around at the mall across the street. I hate asking adverb to drive me places; I feel guilty for sopme reason even though he says he'll take me anywhere.


Now he's trying to quit smoking and told me to hide his tobacco. I did. I also hid his cigarette paper things and the thing he uses to make them, and he begged me to make him two cigarettes but I was too lazy or being a b***h or something, and now he went out, at like 11:52 at night, and I hope it wasn't to the corner store to get cigarettes. I hope he was just getting junk food like he said he would rely on not having cigarettews. That and beer. He acted all miserable and pissed this evening after nagging me to give him just two cigarettes. He could smoke his butts but says they're not good for him. I don't know whether to believe him. Now I feel so awful and guilty.

Try not to worry too much. If you moved to where your parents are - would adverb go with you?
Mothers tend to become anxious about all sorts of things. You will need support.
Adverb needs to have a big part of this childs life, and so do your parents. (my opinion only).

(just quietly, I think I would have given him his tabacco, it seems his intentions were good, but .... giving up smoking is incredibly hard. I have heard it likened to coming off herion.
Adverb would have been desparate for his cigarettes. I think adverb should go to a doctor for support (thinking patches) if he wants to stop smoking.

Keep asking questions - and look hard for support. I am sure you will be a wonderful mum.

I meant moving alone back to the YMCA in Edmonton, not where they are. That was what I wanted to do. Why does everyone think I want to go back to them and have them tell me what to do again and pressure me to do things? Even though maybe it would be different now.


I feel like such a b***h. He told me today that I said I would support him but yesterday hje had to put up with all that and it made things a lot worse. I hate feeling bad and screwing up with peoplel. I want to be away from people so that I won't screw up and cause people pain, or get told off.


I've never smoked. I don't know what it's like. I wish I knew.

Now I'm so hungry but I'm afraid to eat. I don't want to eat too much or eat not at the same time as him and have him disappointed because we didn't eat together. So I get something small that I wouldn't have eaten, one of those little things of yogurt, and he says I really should eat better, but I just can't bring myself to or tell him why I don't. He thinks I should have gotten over it now. He's so patient but he's going to lose his patience one day because I'm me and I'm annoying, I guess. I often forget it isn't just aabout me anymore. Please don't tell me off though, even though I may deserve it. I'm so scared of being told off.