I JUST WANT TO DIE

Post Reply New Topic

I can't stand it anymore, my heart seems to be slowly shattering. I can't stand this world anymore I just want to die and be free of the selfishness. When I see someone suffer I suffer along with them, I cry in pain. People tell me well you can't do anything or its not your problem I can't stand those people they are so insensitive. I care for everyone I meet, or see, I want everyone to be happy and treated fairly but this world nay humanity cares not about taking care of its own. I wish I could die my life is one of great suffering for I am one that cares greatly.

People say that nothing can be done they are just lazy selfish bastards who don't care about anyone but themselves. I can no longer be around them they are driving me mad, I seek death.

I lack the courage to kill myself, I wish someone would put a bullet through my ears so I won't suffer anymore in this selfish world.

it's good people are selfish, look what not being selfish makes to you.

I don't what your saying it makes no sense to me.

So you give up and leave the world to the selfish guys...?
Of course, something can be done. Just not everything by you alone. If you want to help, then actually DO something instead of complaining. I've seen that quite often. Those "selfish" people are most likely helping more than you do. You just see people suffer and let that overwhelm you. So you feel the pain with them and are as unable to do anything about it as they are themselves. At the same time the "selfish" ones just go on, ignore the single case they see, live a "normal" life and spend some small amounts of money to some charity organisation once a month.

Serious: How much do you DO ? (In percentages of your time, not absolute. Since you're only 19 you won't have the money to do big things, but nobody expects that.) Stop whining. There is too much trouble in this world to be solved by a single hero. Start living and try to keep up your standards.

Don't let their pain eat your soul.

very well said PilotPirx.
philosopherBoi, really, you shouldn't care so much. live your life, let others live theirs. first of all, you are responsible for yours, the others are those responsible for their lives. once you get your life under control, then and only then you can start helping.

Why don't you f**k off you ass.

he meant no harm, but don't worry he'll forgive you...

lol, does the truth hurt that much?

You really are heartless, aren't you.

he's not heartless, just realistic.
please, try to explain why our/mine/his point of view is not the correct one in your opinion.

No, I'm not, I can just control it better. I want to help you. Serious. Give up that "All or nothing" thinking. I'm a few years older than you and when I was 19, I was thinking the same way (more or less).
Fact: I didn't help anybody with that. I complained and told people who actually where DOING things, that they did not do enough or the wrong things or whatever, while doing nothing at all myself.

Please understand that point: Feeling with every beggar on the street won't help. Not him and not yourself. You MUST find a way to keep those emotions low (low not off) enough to be able to DO something.
First help yourself. Get your life running. Then you'll reach a point, where you can make this world (or a small part of it) a better place. There will be people around you who have the same ideals as you and together with them you will DO things.

Please don't be offended by the way I've written this. I'm not native english speaking plus have a habit to be ironical. So in a forum it may be difficult to make out my real intentions. Read my post again and try to get out the facts.
1) Survive
2) Get in a better position (good job, maybe family etc)
3) Select one r another problem you think it's worth your time and help there with your time, you money, your understanding.

Under no circumstances let compassion overwhelm you to the extend of depressions. You giving up is a good guy less.

Try being so sensitive to people's emotions that if someone coughs or sneezes your pray they don't get or have a cold, because instantly you know what it feels like. Imagine crying after killing a spider, because you took a life and made it suffer unessicarily. I can't help it I care to much, and I suffer because I want to help everyone and I can't. I feel guilty if I run to much water, because their are people who don't have running water. I try and lead my life in a way that I don't take anymore than I need its the greatest way of helping as many people as possible, but it won't be enough, and those around me won't do anything to help me help others I give the charity, I donate blood, but I always feel I could do more no matter what I do I suffer from the guilt.

Please do NOT take offense if this seems offensive, i am not a good philosopher.

You can't suffer for everyone in this world. you need to get many people to help you fix things if you want to fix things. i agree with pilot here that you have to first set yourself up,

1. control the suicidal emotions
2. get some money and gather some people
3. start changing s**t!

I don't say nothing can be done, but i admit that because of my disabilities it would be very very difficult if not impossible for ME To do anything, that does not mean i can gather a load of people and organize them and "control" them similarly to how other large organizations control their volunteers. does it mean i am going to do that, yes and no, it all depends on when i can get step 2 done.

philosopher... know that this comes from my heart, if you kill yourself its gonna really really suck for me. I dont want to hear about more suicides.. one of my friends killed themselves, and i had to go see a 16 year old in a f*****g casket. people at early ages do not belong in caskets.

ESPECIALLY FOR SOMETHING LIKE SUICIDE

Ok, I think I understand why my post didn't reach you. You're in a terrible emotional situation there. Actually nobody can really help you from the distance of a www forum. (At least I can't, maybe somebody else)

For me the help with such emotional issues came from learning meditation and control my mind that way. Yoga, meditation, Zen Buddhism. But more on a self control and philosophical way, since I'm not religious. (Oh and sports. Biking clears my mind better than everything else)
But those are things that take some years to learn and in the time between you have to stand the pain and hope, that this process will make you stronger.

Sorry, that i can't be of more help to you. (The hard words where meant to give you a slight kick in the right direction, as far as I understand this world, not to offend you)

we are similar actually, accidently killing a spider makes me guilty, i donate blood, i am on the list of bone marrow donners, i run as little water as possible, i use electric light only when and where neccessary and so on. but there is only so much you can do. if you want to help more people, find a job in that area, become an MD, become rich and go to africa building schools or something. for example i am working in a research project trying to increase the safety of motorcyclists. it's very good feeling that your work might save lives.

killing yourself? what good will it be for this world? how can you be helping when not around?

Last edited by tomamil on 26 Aug 2008, 5:17 am, edited 1 time in total.

Your harsh words sent me into a complete emotional meltdown, but at least I know you did not do it one purpose and I am sorry for calling you name I thought you meant to hurt me. I wanted you to hurt so you would know how I felt about what you said.