I want to move out

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I'm now sixteen, and I know for now about three years that I am fed up with living at my mother's house. It began when she started to work on an almost daily basis, on irregular times, and we moved out of my father's home because of family issues. When she is gone, I feel so free, like I can do whatever I like and when I like it. She is constantly commanding me to do the dishes, and when I wait a few SECONDS she starts moaning again. Asking me if I will stand there forever. I hate it. Why couldn't the dishes and the vacuum cleaner wait a quarter of an hour? When I do something, she will ask constantly what I do, and disturb me. When I didn't put something in the laundry, she will start again, when I forget to give the dogs water she will go on nagging, about things I wouldn't be so angry at, if I was a mother. Sometimes she is in a bad mood, and will scream at me, and act hurt, like I have done some major crime. She gets angry very easy, and complain about me, even when I can hear it, and she calls me stupid then. I always do something wrong. When I get angry at her for blaming me for the most ridiculous things, she forces me to apologize. So I must never dare to get mad, stay always resonable and polite, and she may make a drama and scream like I've almost killed the dog or whatever.

Sometimes she really annoys me, and I can drink her blood. I just feel so much more satisfied and happy when she is gone. I feel very peaceful. i get things done in the house, the only difference is that I do it when I like it. When I was fourteen, I just wanted to get out. I think it may be because of my autism too, and that I just want to be left alone, especially after a long day at school, being with all sorts of people. I like to sit in my room and listen to music. She wants me in the living room, the fact that I want to be in my own room, comes I think because I have asperger's so I like to be alone more than other people. My mother wants me to say whenever she critisizes something like ''Yes, mom, in the future, I will think of it''. I can't always tell her that, because a great deal of the time, she is doing the same thing, mostly even much more than I, and sometimes she blames me for het behavior!! Or she blames me for something that I couldn't help, or something that went wrong when I left, as an example. When I tell her that, she gets angry with me, because I wouldn't listen and because I'm very impolite and spoiled, as she says. However, I'm one of the least spoiled people I know. I never get anything and vey few pocket money, espesially in comparisation with others of my age. I don't like to be critisized all the time, and certainly not by someone who is doing exactly the same, but then even more. I also hate her nagging constantly. She also blames me for her bad mood, when I didn't do anything! But o, I may never dare to be in a bad mood. O hell no.

For years now, I'm dreaming of living on my own, whotout my mother. She may visit me once in a while, but that's it. She drives me insane. I'm so fed up with her company. Happily, she works a lot, so I don't have to see her that much. I'm looking forward to it.

My mum always wanted a fight too. The Aspergers comes from my Dad's side of the family but I am sure there is something up with my Mum's side too. She would always try to start an argument for no reason. She had various tactics, her favourite would be to try to goad you into being "more wrong" than her.

Obviously from a starting position where there was no conflict and she wanted to create conflict she puts herself "in the wrong" to begin with but she would try to bait and antagonise and get you to overreact and be "more wrong" than her. Then that would mean she won, and she would be happy.

An example: One evening she asked me to take the bin down to the gate because the bin-men were coming the next morning. I said "OK I'll do it before I go to bed". Now, this is obviously reasonable, the bin only has to be at the gate before the next morning. However, my Mum insisted that I have to do it NOW. I was watching something on TV so I explained to her why I didn't have to do it NOW and again stated that I would do it before I went to bed. She proceeded to scream, shout and insult me disturbing my enjoyment of the TV program I was watching. Eventually, she decided that she might have got me angry enough to overreact and put myself "more in the wrong" than her. She then went outside, picked up the dustbin and placed it right next to me on the sofa, actually she kind of shoved it right up against me saying "there you are, that's your job". Now, what she was obviously hoping for was that I would overreact and push the bin away spilling the rubbish all over the living room floor, thus putting myself "more in the wrong" than her. This would have been a win for her.

Obviously I didn't fall for this because I knew her tricks and ways, so she just ended up in tears appealing to my Dad to support her. Dad had been holding back throughout this because of course parents don't want to undermine each other's authority in front of the kids but when pressed for a judgement he couldn't do anything other than tell her she was in the wrong.

Do you have the money to pay the rent?

I think that you're legally allowed to leave at 16.


Get a job, rent an apartment, and don't let your parents ruin your life like I did.


I regret it. I should have moved out as soon as I could, but I didn't.


Whoo! Free rent and food!

And putting up with their insanity which was crushing me as a person until I finally left 3 years ago.

Sounds like my mother.

When I was eighteen, she got me a cat to try to buy my affection (I was finally starting to rebel against her and she was afraid of losing her control over me). Her dog would come into my room and eat the cat's food and then throw up. So, I rigged up a "gate" out of a piece of cardboard that was low enough for me to step over but high enough that the dog couldn't jump over and cut a small hole in it for the cat to get through. My mother ridiculed me and said that would never work. It worked just fine. However, if I put it in my room at night (with the door closed), the cat would play with it and keep me awake. My mother refused to allow me to keep it in the hall at night. When she saw that it was working, she started nagging me to keep it in the doorway at all times. The dog, being an intelligent, well-behaved animal, learned that he wasn't allowed in my room. So, one day I threw the cardboard away as it was no longer necessary. When my mother found out, she told me I had until Friday to get out of the house (this was on a Wednesday). I have refused to have anything to do with her since.

Moving out would be a good idea, but you might want to wait until you finish high school first. It is much easier to get a job once you have a diploma. Check and see if there are any accelerated programs in your area so you can speed up the process, or at least take summer school classes. If you have any relatives in the area, see if you can move in with them until you have finished high school.

Good luck.