My former stepfather committed suicide yesterday

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My mother's ex-husband, the one who's household I grew up in and the father of my younger brother and sister was found dead yesterday in his home.

From what they can gather right now, they believe he committed suicide by shooting himself. His house was locked and his brothers had to break in to see about him so they don't think he was murdered. Apparently, he had been feeling down for quite some time and his siblings have been worried about him.

My god, I can't believe this sh!t. He seemed so happy with himself, at least the last time I saw him in May during my grandparents' 50th wedding aniversary banquet. He had just found his passion by becoming a free-lance photographer and was doing his thing taking pictures. I even rode to Office Depot with him once while he was picking out a photo printer and he was talking about how blessed he was to have found something he loved doing. He had been clean and sober for 16 straight years and I was thinking just this morning before I heard the news of his death how proud I was of him.

Me and him didn't get along during my growing-up years because he was, back then, a different, not so loving person who sometimes would get violent with my mother and was very distant toward me. For a long time, I hated his guts. It was only recently, long after he and my mother divorced that he got better as a person and I had forgiven him. Now, just like that, he's gone. And worse, my brother and sister have lost their father.

It's like this isn't even real, like I'm going to wake up and it was a bad dream. Hell, this cannot be real. It makes no damn sense whatsoever. Am I hallucinating or something? Why the hell did he still have that gun in his house while he was depressed? Why didn't his brothers take it away? And they talk about the "right to bear arms". Yeah, the right to bear arms my ass! He would've still been here and my brother and sister would still have their daddy and my nephews would've had their grandpa.

And if he can do it, what keeps my equally sensitive brother and sister from doing the same? Now I'm scared for their lives too. I don't know how I'm going to comfort them. They are going to need so much I don't know if I'll be adequate enough in providing it.

Nirrti,

That's so very sad. I don't know how to advise you except to suggest that you, your siblings, and your mom get together and have a good cry. You have each other, and with each other's support, you will all get through this.

Please PM me if you need to vent.

Best Wishes,

Fnord

oh, Nirrti, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Suicide can make so many many questions. I am so glad you have WP and your friends here!
Merle

Sorry to hear about that. Hoping you're dealing with it as well as you can.

Makes me think of my own former stepkids, and how important it is that I avoid taking that route.

sorry your going through this. my father overdosed in front of my at 12 years old. its hard. in alot of ways i was happy he died, but also not. things would have been fine had my mother not remarried again,,,and again...and again...lol oh well. alot of people say that with time you feel better and get over it,,,but you never really do. it just gets easier to deal with over time. if you ever wanna talk email me at Jaysonlee4@aol.com or message me here on the site. take care and try to be as happy as you can.

your friend,
Jayson

I am sorry for you are your family's loss Nirrti, I have been though the death of 4 family
members over the past year and a half, and know what your going though, right now.

Going through the same thing right now only not suicide.

Sorry about your loss. I hate it when it involves suicide as I lost a friend that way quite a while back. I don't know what else to say but stay in there. Ironically I just had the same thing happen to me yesterday and wasn't going to go on this board till I saw your post.

Thank you all so much for your encouragement.

My mother and sister are coming down from Ohio today so we are all getting together. I talked to my biological father about what happened and he couldn't believe it either. Both he and my stepfather had been around the same drug addiction recovery circles and he's known him for years.

He made some phone calls to the others to see what exactly had happened since it was so unbelievable my stepfather would kill himself while he had been doing so well. It turns out that my stepfather had apparently started using again and apparently, the affects of the drugs on his brain's biochemistry along with a sense of not being able to beat his addiction this time around prompted his depression. Now it makes a little more sense.

Double post

I offer you and your family my condolences.

[quote="nirrti_rachelle"]Thank you all so much for your encouragement.

My mother and sister are coming down from Ohio today so we are all getting together. [/quote



was born in ohio. sorry that he started using drugs. hope that you can all get through this as easy as possible.

I am sorry your going through this.

He is in a better place.

Remember that Life goes on after death, I dont know what you believe about the after life but he has found peace .

I wish you peace as well and I hope your pain eases with time .

I am sorry for you loss.