Do we control our own happiness

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How much control do we have over our own happiness? How much becomes controlled by society?

Is that a rhetorical question, or do you want numbers?

43.7% is self-determined, 56% societal, the other 0.3% is determined by the phase of the moon.

Depends how hard you work.

Hi there,

Good one.

It could be in your own hands, it's up to you.
It's a philosophical question, really. It might sound simple but most of the time it's in your own hands. Your happiness is your own creation. What do you wish?

Epicurus said some wise things about happiness. Being ill most of his live (or life, v/f, I don't understand, in my language it one and the same), he decided not to be unhappy.

Best of luck, y'all,
C.

[quote]
Simplex sigillum veri, I say

Unless a person's mind is controlled by someone else, they are responsible for their own happiness. Your own thoughts dictate how you will view the world. TWO PEOPLE LOOKED OUT OF PRISON BARS; ONE SAW MUD AND THE OTHER SAW STARS.

I think you can determine your own happiness, but you have to do so by being unhappy for a while. It sounds weird... but it's only when you break away from societys sheep and become your own individual person can you be happy.

My friend is the happiest guy I've ever met, but he's impossible to take anywhere. Other people stare at the him, the way he talks, how he dresses, but it's all his own style. It's very much a part of who he is, and I wouldn't change it. Other people though, who don't know him, they assume all sorts of things about him. But he's happy knowing the few friends he has are for real, and aren't going to turn on him at the drop of a hat.

I guess what I'm trying to say is being happy with yourself is the truest form of happiness, and the only one you can control. You cannot change anothers opinion of you, so don't even bother.

Hi there,

The post above from me was a bit too black and white. I quess, I'm not a good nuancer. Mostly one or the other. Don't like that but it happens quite a lot. And I do not feel as good as I felt this morning.

This afternoon I met a woman I really hate and told her that in the face. By her doings I lost my allowance and my insurance, now one and a half years ago.
"you're a intrinsic bad woman", I said and looked her straight in the eye. But she didn't look away. She is a very cold-hearted b***h. I did. All the trouble she gave me, indescribable.

It's up to me, I wish not to feel bad or unhappy but do I control this 100%? I wish but I don't. I dislike my moodswings (and my urge to take revanche).

I'm autistic. But that does not mean I have to be unhappy. Maybe I should let myself be tattooed....
On the inside of my eye so I won't forget,
'My happiness is my own creation'.

Again best of luck to you all,
C.

There are other things besides those listed above that control happiness. Some people are just happier by their nature. Their brain is biologically different. I guess you only find this out once you've been seriously depressed for so long like I am.

Sometimes I try to put myself in other people’s shoes and I can’t because I can’t imagine being as happy as they are. Most people’s lives look crazy tedious and full of pointless suffering. Most people can make all the pointlessness of it go away simply by sitting around chatting about mundane stuff. I really wish I was more like all the other happy people in this world.

Pain and Pleasure are inevitable; Misery and Happiness are optional.

We cannot control others, but we can control ourselves.
We cannot always decide how we feel, but we can decide what we do about it.


M.

I think it depends how much control you have to begin with.
You have a base potential of 50% self-controlled and 50% societal (uh... I guess. I'm not going to refuse that previous claim someone made, although it may be incorrect or inaccurate despite my repeating it.)
but if you've been taught to be helpless and powerless and not take responsibility, you can't make use of that potential until you "change your mind". and I don't know how that works. I'm sure it's possible, I just don't know how. It's not as easy as me telling you some stories and you realizing it. or maybe it is, with the right stories. I'm still looking for the right story for me.

and of course, even with all the control available to you, there are other things to block your path. happiness is fleeting. it's not a state you can perpetually reside in, and if that causes you strife, then you need to follow some Zen or something, and realize that if you stop trying to hold on to it and let go, you won't suffer so much.