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melissa17b
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Joined: 19 Oct 2008
Age: 66
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Location: A long way from home, wherever home is

25 Nov 2008, 6:05 am

Over the years, I have come to understand that a great deal of what I do is "abnormal", sometimes subtly or even invisibly so, other times patently obvious. I have come to accept this; this is who I am, and it doesn't harm anyone. For most of my existence, I believed that I wasn't just "different", but that there was something terribly wrong with me. This was much more difficult to handle. How can one accept that they are not "wrong", only "different", when just about everybody begs to differ, or so it would seem based on how they treat you? I am only just arriving at the acceptance there is nothing fundamentally wrong with me despite qualifying as a poster child for "different". This acceptance makes all the difference in how I live my life now and how I feel about it. I will be who I am, seek the company of those who can handle that, however few there may be, rewarding them with fierce loyalty, whilst dissociating from unproductive relationships, including family if necessary.



AlexandertheSolitary
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Joined: 26 Dec 2006
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27 Nov 2008, 1:02 pm

Vashna wrote:
Up until a bit of time ago (maybe a day or two), I had four imaginary friends whom were not considered to be any threat by therapists/psychologists. They kept me company, and since I did not speak to them aloud, they could be conversation partners under any circumstances. They could also serve as RP partners, which was especially useful considering that inside my head I am not burdened by the constraints of the written word as in an online RP, and I could take them anywhere and even conduct things in class or at work. When I am at work, I am all alone so it doesn't interfere with anything. In class..well..I fear arrogance in saying this, and I mean none by saying so, but I have always been a good bit more advanced than the material presented and I have a great difficulty focusing on such material anyways. However, after a few days of some of the worst depression I've had in a long time, I just cannot summon them. Real people cannot replace them, because they were able to talk to me about subjects no one will ever talk about with me. For instance, I cannot find many people willing to discuss the pros and cons of the Bussard Collector Fusion Engine proposed for NASA, nor the ideas of the philosophy of Thomas Aquinas. They could be tailored to discussing any rarefield topic, and they always enjoyed it. Now that they are gone, I tend to mumble beneath my breath in a certain fashion when no one is around, and ramble heavily when anyone is.

Does anyone have any advice?

Thank you.


I would be interested in discussing Aquinas.


_________________
You are like children playing in the market-place saying, "We piped for you and you would not dance, we wailed a dirge for you and you would not weep."


Vashna
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Joined: 19 Apr 2008
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28 Nov 2008, 12:25 am

Wait..seriously?