My Life Story - I Need Advice

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Hi, I'm a 15 year old guy who self-diagnosed for Asperger's Syndrome just a while ago. Well I think my life is a mess, so I'd like to talk about it. Lately, I've been depressed about life in general. I feel like I cannot go on like this, living the way I do. I'm not suicidal, I'm just worrying about my future.

Background Information:

I live in a family of 4 including: my mom, my dad and my younger brother. I am Asian, Chinese - American to be specific. My parents expect much from me, primarily good grades. Basically, I need to get all A's on a report card to make them happy.

Personal Information:

I am a homosexual guy. I am not out, except to my best friend. I have perhaps only one best friend. I have perhaps three-four significant other friends, but that's pretty much it. My current addiction is to the MMORPG, MapleStory. I am one of the top players in this game. I spend much of my time playing this (like 10-12 hours a day on weekends, 3-4 on weekdays). I am not in good physical condition: I'm extremely nearsighted and I am almost obese at 5 feet 9 inches and 191 lbs. Many aspects of my personal life is very distasteful. Not to mention, I have horrible social skills like most people with Asperger's. During school, I am friendly to most but I find it hard to make friends since during school I'm in school-mode and I flat-out refuse to talk about normal things mentally, as hard as I try. Online, however, I'm very social and I try to be the best person I can be. I'm also an elitest in the game I play.

My feelings About It All:

I feel misunderstood mostly. I spend way too much time playing MapleStory. I love my friends on there, but I want to have a real "life." I'm sick of my physical condition. I was blessed with a healthy body but I spoiled it. The only person who *might* understand me is a guy I met online who is a NT gay guy and shares many interests as I. I feel a little pathetic because I don't think I will ever have a intimate relationship with another guy ever based on my personal life.

Questions:

Is it possibled based on my situation that I could ever undo some of them?
I really really want a companion or boyfriend, if you will, possible for an aspie?
Ultimately, must I quit this game I am addicted to?

Any other advice for me is fine. I feel like the aspie community is most kind compassionate and understanding, perhaps I'll get some help. Right now my life is a mess, I really appreciate any feedback, thoughts, whatever.




Thank you in advance.

15? However it turns out, you're barely into your first chapters...
Your body isn't even finished developing yet, you have loads of time to turn that around (I didn't start going to the gym until I was in my 30s).

I actually wish i was bigger im 6'2" and only 161 pounds, i got six pack abs cuz of all the crunches i do and i lift weights every day, but i kinda wished i weighed like 190 cuz people always think of me as being scrawny