family issues that just won't go away

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My parents both give me all the blame for every conflict we've ever been in. They both insist I don't know anything factual and nor does my maternal grandmother. I am feeling very hateful towards my parents. They haven't known me since I was 7 anyway. Everything they have to say about me is false.

In 2003 I had my most pleasant dream about my parents. They were in my living room @ my house signing to each other & then I joined their signed conversation after arriving home & using my bathroom. But they both tell me that'll never be in real life.

My parents are just a couple of two-faces in real life. They do something nice to me like buy me some food when I can't afford it, take me out to one of my favorite restaurants & pay for my meal, etc. Then they turn around and insult me about my limitations I claim to have, the way I conduct myself, etc.

My mom thinks everyone except herself and my dad have serious mental illnesses, need to be in the state mental hospital for our whole lives, and be forced on powerful psychotropic meds with serious side effects. Somebody must stop her! She wants everyone whose legal name she knows institutionalized.

Me & my daddy have been enemies since I was 7. Hittin' your kid will NEVER help! I often physically retaliated on him when he hit me. Had my mom's dad lived into my lifetime, he would've hit me more than he ever did his own two kids. And not with his hand, but with a piece of wood onto which he burned the words "Mr. Discipline" with a soldering iron. If I ever find that POS I will set it on fire in the kitchen sink at my maternal grandmother's apartment!

I am anti-psychiatry. My mom is pro-psychiatry. Now I am enemies with both of my parents. I will join MindFreedom International in early 2009. It is an organization whose efforts may cost my mom her job because MFI wants all state mental hospitals and other hellholes as we call them closed. Well my mom don't deserve no job with her attitude! She's talking and acting so much like a n***** that she needs to just go out with her employees (she's the supervisor where she works) & OD herself on marijuana & crack cocaine, the two most popular illegal drugs in Hamilton County, OH. I will laugh my full head off when my sister tells me my mom OD'd herself on illegal drugs and my dad drank himself to death.

I do NOT deserve to be shunned or insulted! I do NOT deserve to be yelled at either! Every Baby Boomer I ever met has this attitude towards me. Even some younger people born pre-1970 have this anti-disability attitude towards me too! I hate anyone & everyone who has this attitude towards me!

I can identify with this. My family often accuse me of exaggerating sensory difficulties. They do not consider my exquisite sense of hearing when I overhear comments made about me that do not get said to me personally.

Same here again. I was never offered sign language as an alternative to speech, and I am aware that I deeply embarrass my family by writing notes and signing. I often to write to them and draw them detailed pictures explaining simple signs, so they are familiar with what I am doing, but they pretend not to know what I am saying when I sign.

I hope you find a way of managing all the hatred you seem to feel.

ViatorRose,

I appreciate your reply . Don't worry about my hatred causing me to commit any hate crimes. It NEVER has & NEVER will .

I didn't know you know sign language. That's good . I was totally on my own to learn it but I nicknamed myself "The Champion Signer" cuz I NEVER gave up. My daddy hates anyone who doesn't speak English. He also hates everyone who has disabilities. Many a time I question if or not he is my real dad. I plan getting a DNA paternity test, & if I gotta get the courts to help me force it on him, I will. I think my mom went behind his back to a sperm bank to conceive me. I think she did that AFTER marrying him, NOT before. So if the DNA test proves he's not my real dad, he's NOT my stepdad either cuz she was impregnated by another man's sperm AFTER she married him, NOT before.

I definitely have hypersensitive hearing. Nobody in Hamilton County, OH cares. Everybody yells at me and expects me not to show the physiological signs of a fight-or-flight reaction. So I have plenty of valid reason for feeling so much hatred towards so many people. My parents now live in Kenton County, KY. But they're still the same mean-spirited stupid motherf***ers they've always been when they lived in Hamilton County, OH.

I would NEVER hate another Aspie though. Nor would I ever hate a Deaf-Blind person. Those two disabilities make many people easier for me to relate to.

As for sensory difficulties, I don't even believe the diagnosis of AS alone is enough. There's a new diagnosis out there called Sensory Processing Disorder (SPD). I believe my sensory difficulties go way beyond those accounted for by the diagnosis of AS. I need a diagnosis of SPD from a qualified occupational therapist. But all I've been told is there are none in Hamilton County, OH. I'll be so glad when I leave this town & find new Deaf-Blind friends. There ain' nobody good to meet in Hamilton County, OH. Hasn't been...since my granddaddy died (paternal grandfather, died 2/5/2004 of cancer).

to be honest.


all 3 of you need help.

you have issues to deal with in particular about the world you were brought up in and the people you encounter.

and they just need help.

I'm bout to go see my psychologist next Tuesday - that's my next appointment with him. He knows sign & we'll be signing all of those minutes .My parents both refuse to believe anything's wrong with the opinions they try to force on me or the fact that they try to force their opinions on me. They're NOT having any thoughts of physically harming anyone, so can't nobody take them through Probate Court. I agree they need help. My experience with them continues to be 70% bad 30% good. Before I was 7, it was all pleasant. But they haven't been the mommy & daddy I remember since Wednesday, August 1, 1990 2:38PM. They will probably NEVER in this lifetime be the mommy & daddy I remember. I WILL probably be "the old Adam" as they referred to how I used to be in the 1980s (the first 7 years of my life). But they won't be there to witness it...I'll make sure of that. Everyone I will be with that evening will be tactile signers in one of these 3 cities:

Milwaukee, WI
Seattle, WA
Washington, D.C.

Last night I cried twice, once in their presence & once after my daddy left my house. I emailed them the lyrics to "Hate Me" by Blue October. It is the perfect song for us. I can't help but cry when I listen to the 3rd verse of that song. It is so sad ! !!

I am already getting the help I need. I will be FINE as long as I just stop letting my parents into my house & taking rides with them.

Even though you are over 18, I wonder if you can contact the Neurology Department at Cincinnati Children's Hospital. They might know of other professionals who treat adults with SPD.

Thanks for the info. I might try that .