I don't know where to go for help...

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I don't even know if this is the right place either, but I am sick with anxiety and worry and I just don't know how to cope any more.

Basically, I have AS and I am a single mum of four children.
I have had a difficult year financially and that along with other bad financial decisions, I have got into so much debt I feel I have no way out.

I am not good with money anyway, but this year I was off work for six months due to injury which has made my money issues worse and I am now in a serious situation with no light at the end of the tunnel.
I am back at work now, but all my money goes on credit card payments that just seem to be increasing instead of decreasing, despite no longer using them.

I don't even think I can file for bankruptcy as I am not an Australian citizen. I get so low sometimes I think the only way out of this mess is suicide. But, I have children, and my children still need me around.

I have no one to turn to. I think about my money problems all day everyday and get more and more depressed.
I just feel totally lost. Life has become unbearable. don't know how much longer I can cope with this before I do something really stupid.

Get a social worker mabie they can help you find resorces even if your not a citizen.

I know in my country you can file for emergency cash help even if you your not a citizen.

As long as your there legally you can get help.

Don't give up, your kids need you and your ment to live.
Your here for a reason and you need to find that reason yourself.

Look around you , who depends on you ? What makes you happy? Look for the reason your here , even if its somthing you feel in your hart. There is a light at the end of the tunnel .

I waited my whole life and now I am finnaly getting out of my abusive home. I looked toward the future and wated even when there was nothing in the present to see.

Look with your hart not your eyes , your future is bright I can see it.

And by the way , you can pm me any time you need to talk.

If you need food, try some local churches. They will most likely have a fund that they will use to give you some money for food or a gift card for a local grocery store.

Hug your babies, they need you. Also, you might want to talk to the childrens' school, they might have something to help you guys out as well. (especially with the holidays coming.)

As an extreme solution, you can put your children up for adoption.

And before you snap...which is crueller? Giving your child to a home where they can find a means to an end or stay with you and potentially end up in poverty and squalor?

Am I cruel? Yes. If this was me, would I do it? Yes. Because until I can stand on my own two feet financially and give them what they need...I don't deserve them.

You are a caring, loving mother. And no doubt they can or will see how its hurting you. But love can't feed them. You have got to be cruel to be kind.

Aside from that...there are other ways. Prostitution. And yes, whilst immoral and horrible, it is an option albeit the very last one.

As you can see, I favor the extreme solutions.

I do sympathise with you. Perhaps you can find someone to do your budget for you?

A good source of bread is bakeries after the day is over. They generally have bread left over.

Regards
GM

Try filing for bankruptcy.

Or, if that feels too much for you, stop your payments to all the cards , and wait for them to take you to court, although it would probably be a good idea to write a letter to all of them, and your bank(s), explaining why, before doing so, so that won't be treated as irresponsible about it.

Finding a local food-depot/charity org for people in difficulty is definitely a good idea.

See if there is a citizen's advice bureau of some kind near you and get advice.

And go to your doctor to ask for some kind of counselling; talking about it, crying and ranting, to someone who is totally outside the situation, can make a huge difference to how you feel.

Best of luck. I think that you are already doing amazingly, holding down a job and looking after four children. Lots of people are in the same boat as you financially, the credit system is scandalously exploitative. Don't be ashamed of yourself for not coping with it.
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I'm not really sure how to go about this or even if I can.


Won't this get nasty? So if they take me to court what happens next? Sorry, I don't know anything about any of this. I really have no idea what to do.

Thanks Ouinon for your kind comments. I just wish I could get out of this mess.

Ring the Salvation Army and get an appointment to see a financial counsellor.

I know in Brisbane they can help you with food, and vouchers to pay for utilities and so on in the meantime while you wait to see the counsellor.

So that is my advice to ring the Salvos.

http://www.salvos.org.au/

phone 1300 36 36 22

I don't either, I just know that more and more people in the UK are doing it, ( I don't know about Australia ). I expect you can find out how to do it online. It has apparently become almost a routine matter for the courts because of the crazy lending practices in recent years.


If you write and explain your reasons, put your position clearly to them, they may arrange delayed/reduced repayment anyway. And even if they don't, and take you to court the court/magistrates will probably, seeing your situation, either advise filing for bankruptcy or arrange a much reduced payment scheme, which would almost certainly allow you a very reasonable breathing space.
.

Thank you Ouinon and emc2 for your great advice.

I did not think I could use the Salvo's because I am working, but I will definitely look into that.

I also did not realise other people may be in the same situation as me. I just felt it was very embarrassing as I can be gullible sometimes and get sucked into things like this with out really being aware of the long term realities.

Wow, you are working, and bringing up four children on your own. I take my hat off to you Shivani. First, your kids, you are so lucky, and they are lucky to have you as a mom doing your best for them.

Money problems can feel crushing but there's advice out there that can help you sort it out. I don't know what's available in Australia, but I guess you have Citizen's Advice like has already been mentioned or debt management counsellors? Also your GP or social services should be able to help, or point you towards sources of support. There are people out there who can and will help you, it's just a matter of finding them. I don't know if this is helpful, but there are so many people struggling with money at the moment, I think it's global...I guess you feel very alone right now, but hang in there. Anyone can get into financial difficulties, don't feel bad about it.
I think once you start getting some support you'll see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Please stick around for the sake of your kids and yourself

First things first Shirvani there doesn't seem to be anything to stop you filing for bankruptcy:
http://www.itsa.gov.au/dir228/itsaweb.nsf/docindex/bankruptcy-%3Ebankruptcy+overview?opendocument
http://www.foxsymes.com.au/bankruptcy.htm
All that seems to matter is that you are resident, but there do seem to be other options before you get to that stage. Fox Symes seem to be the people to talk to for that.

I don't have an earthly clue how you have managed as well as you have so far...I couldn't do it.

M

Great advice because they can help you and make a real diference..

I also agree with Starr:
"Wow, you are working, and bringing up four children on your own. I take my hat off to you Shivani. First, your kids, you are so lucky, and they are lucky to have you as a mom doing your best for them.
.......I think once you start getting some support you'll see that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Please stick around for the sake of your kids and yourself "

But I would like to add, coming from a family of four children, I know how hard and stressful it can be on two parents, if your not coping PLEASE reach out for help, well done for taking the first step, but take the good advice here and follow through for the sake of your children and you. As from a child's point of view, my life was crushed, it was only when mother died I realized the reasons, to late then something that can not be fixed, however bad things are your children need you. As no child should suffer and no parent should either, but without help you will all may suffer unnecessarily... good luck and there really are many people out there who can help and care...

Gosh.
Thank you guys.
I was unsure of posting my problems here, unsure of the response.
But I really feel, I am, well... among friends, dare I say it?
I feel like, someone actually cares!
It is tough, bloody tough with kids. I struggle with so many things, day to day..(not just financial )...but my kids are great, they know I am doing the best I know how to do...
And I really don't ever want to leave them.
Especially over something as trivial as money.
I was just getting so overwhelmed by it all.
But, I have to find a way through it.
If I can.
Thank you mechanima, I have followed your link and that looks very interesting.
It is all about just trying to reach out and take those steps..
However hard it is...

Yes we all care very very much!

And yes you can count me and everyone else here as friends , I know I do.

Just so you know, you may not be able to own your own business for 10 years or buy a car or house for 10 years after you file for bankruptcy.

(I'm not shure if thats ^ complealty accurate but I know its somthing like that)

Good luck in what ever path you take !