making it in the "real world" at 23

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I wasn't sure where to post this, since none of the categories really fits this.

Some background information: I'm 23 years old and looking to move out of my parents' house soon. I planned on doing this much sooner, but major health issues have forced me to stay longer than intended.

In terms of finances, I have the money for a downpayment on an inexpensive house, a decent-paying job, and I know how to budget.

The problem: I have no clue how to manage the every-day practicalities of independent life. Sure, I know how to do my own laundry, cook, and wash dishes--I've been doing those things since I was eleven years old. What I don't know how to manage are things like paying bills, credit cards, how to actually go about buying a house, and so on.

I've read several of those "life-guide" books, none of which proved to be all that useful or comprehensive, since they seem to leave of major details that would leave me in the dark when I'm actually out there on my own. Example: The books fail to mention that, when buying a house for the first time, having low or no credit can be a major impediment to getting a loan.

I really don't want to be dependent on my parents for answering all these questions for me. With my health problems and limited social interactions, it's been difficult enough proving myself to be sufficiently independent to live by myself.

My question is this: How does one successfully maneuver the Real World when all previous experience has depended upon the support and input of parents? As a fellow aspie, I assume I am not alone in this particular dilemma.

I realize my question would be easier to answer if I could isolate specific problems, but I thought I'd pose it anyway. These sort of questions are bound to come out repeatedly once I'm actually in the Real World.

Any input is greatly appreciated!

As for questions that apply directly to BUYING a home, I suggest talking to a Realtor. You said you know how to budget and that is a great start, talk to your realtor about what you can reasonably afford and go from there (remember though, that they get commission and you might want to look a little bit lower than they suggest, or talk to someone at the bank afterwards to check up on them.)

You will need to find out how much gas, electric, water, taxes (if they aren't going to be included in your house payment), trash, cable, insurance (house), internet, phone food and extra gas to get to and fro are going to cost you. (try to leave a little buffer money because every once in a while something will break down and need fixed)

A good way to find out how much these things cost is to find a house that looks like it would be in your budget and call the gas, electric, companies and see if you can get a print out of how much their bills were for that house the previous year or 2 to give you an estimate.

Set your priorities, and if having 6,000 channels on your TV is a huge issue to you make sure that you budget that in as well.

So... I guess talk to a realtor and a person at the bank (many times you need to be pre-approved and make sure that you mention that this will be your first time because they have first time homeowners deals.)

i've only recently turned eighteen and i'm still living at home so i'm not sure what advice i can give, i'll try my best to help and hope i can answer some of your questions.

have you considered a direct debit? i'm not sure if you have this option or not but a direct debit, as long as you have the funds, is sometimes the easiest way to spread the cost. money goes straight out of your account to whomever you owe money to such as your rent, bills, or even charity donations. this will also remove the stress of having to do the work yourself and it doesn't matter if you forget a certain bill one week because it's all automated.

sometimes parents know best, or at least a bit more about certain topics anyway
asking a question here and there doesn't make you any less independant as you need to learn at some point, if you'd rather not turn to them there's always options of other people you can speak to. i currently attend appointments with a youth worker every week to talk about housing and life and so i can get the advice i need but as i'm a 'young adult' it's expected, i'm sure there are other facilities that help people's transitions no matter how old or young they are though.

Paying bills is pretty simple. I rarely ever write checks anymore, everything is done electronically, either on the company's website or through my banks electronic banking program.
My browser toolbar has bookmarks for all my bills as well as my bank and credit cards. I go through them every week or so and see if I owe anything. This is just to make sure that I haven't missed anything. I get all of my bills through email and when I have money in my bank account I pay them immediately.
After a year of this, it will be second nature and you can relax knowing that you have a system in place to handle everything.

I just bought a home, and it was very stressful, but manageable. I did a lot of this stuff over the phone with only minimal face to face contact. It's done now and I'm in a much better financial position. So here is a step by step. I'm not sure where you live. I'm in the US.

1. Decide how much you can pay for housing every month.
I think it should be no more than 1/3 your gross income. This may or may not include utilities.
Then calculate how much home you can afford to buy. I like this site.
http://www.era.com/erabuy/calculators.html
2. Shop online for what is available. You may have other sources as well. I used trulia.com a lot. They also have a forum where you can post questions and get answers from many different realtors and lenders.
3. You may want to go ahead and get your credit score for free from annualcreditreport.com That is the site set up by the government for requesting your copy. If your score is low you might need to address some negative items on there. Pay off lenders, clear up errors. (I check my credit report from one of the three every few months. This is a good way to catch any suspicious activity that might indicate identity theft, and it's free. )
4. Meet with a reputable lender, or apply online for pre-approval. They will tell you how much you can get a loan for, hopefully their number is higher than the home price you have decided on.
Stay within your budget. Find out what first time homebuyer programs might be available.
5. Meet with some realtors or talk to them on the phone, trulia etc. You want to find one that you feel comfortable and confident with. This may take a couple tries. I ended up with someone who specialized in foreclosures and bank owned homes. Have them set up a search for the type of property you want, they will email a list and you can look it over. Also ask about any first time homebuyer programs that they might know about. When you find some homes that you like, you can meet the realtor and go look at them.
6. When you are ready to buy one, you will want to have a signed agreement between you and your realtor stating that they are representing your interest.
7. When you make an offer, your realtor will draw up a contract and have you sign it, it will be forwarded to the seller. You will also probably need to pay some earnest money so they know that you are serious. They may accept or counter with some changes. Eventually you will find a home and agree upon price and conditions with the seller. Once you both have signed, you are under contract. There should be clauses in the contract to allow you to get out for a couple reasons. Financing contingency, Inspection, appraisal etc.
8. Get an inspection, then you may want to ask the seller to fix some things that are found.
9. When everything is ready to go and you have a closing date, your realtor will submit the contract to your lender. Then you start working with the bank. They will need certain things for their underwriters, financial documents, fire/hazard insurance, etc.
10. At closing, you will sign a bunch of papers, sign over your downpayment, and get your new keys.

Good luck
Feel free to ask anything specific.

Before you move out perhaps your parents need to teach you these things. Um haven't you been paying your own credit card bill? You need to get a wall calendar, the kind that has a good size box for every day that you can write in, and write a note on that day when each bill is due. If you mail in the payments you need to allow a week for processing so mail a week before they are due. Most credit card companies along with things like cable tv and home phone service allow you to pay online by using your checking account.

You might want to consider renting for a year or so, to get used to living on your own. That way, if things don't go well, you are not saddled with a house payment you can't get out of.

Thanks for all your responses. I think the most complicated aspect of this whole process will be house buying (and I have decided already I definitely want to buy, not rent.)

I guess I just feel bad about and angry at myself for not being able to do these things on my own, like something tells me I should be more independent and not have to ask. Not rational, I know, but it's a persistant feeling I've always had.

I'm going to look into contacting realtors to see my options.