Communication

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At the moment... I am at my wit's end over this matter. When trying to communicate with others, I find that overwhelmingly I am being spoken over and interrupted, being derailed into defending what I have to say before the entire thought is completed, having to fight in order to be understood. Frequently I am told that I repeat myself... what I have found is that when I am trying to relate a story or situation, it is imperative for me to start at the beginning and tell the entire thing in context, yet others assume they know best or anticipate what will be said... and in a majority of cases, they are dead wrong because they're reacting to something being given as part of the setting, not the issue itself. I don't feel like things get resolved, that there is constant misunderstanding and confusion over what is said, what is meant... spend hours explaining to people only to have them do the exact opposite of what was discussed and agreed because either they felt they knew what was best for me, or selectively heard the parts of what I said in order to make it fit their own desires. This is exhausting me... my temper is shot, my patience non-existent, my frustration exceptional. What makes matters worse is that I am the common denominator between these issues; despite my efforts, there is still a barrier in communicating with others that has left me pretty fragile and in a dangerous spot as of late. My fiance has explained that how I converse is very different than most others, that I let people speak, ask questions, but expect the same courtesy in turn... which apparently is not how the rest of the world functions, instead barking over each other in a myriad tangle of misinformation. I'm angry and tired, hurt by what registers with me as gross insensitivity on the behalf of society as a whole. Sometimes, one wonders if the best solution isn't a sledgehammer.


M.