feeling pretty suicidal :(

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OMG i accidently overpasted my new post on this on at edit oh well anyway it sayed something like "i feel suicidal, i don't wan't to be one of those people who use anti-depresia to solve there problems and school is getting worse and worse and the feeling isn't the most important but my future is

Last edited by UndercoverAlien on 31 Jan 2009, 5:09 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I'm genuinely sorry to hear that

Have you tried St. John's wort?

Oh no, not another of our well-known members!!

Things will get better for you, UndercoverAlien. The darkest hour is just before dawn, remember that.

I dropped out at year 7, just before completing (failing it). My future was pretty screwed up from then on, or so I thought. I enrolled at TAFE (a college in Australia) when I was 15 to complete year 10, 11, and 12; the rest of my high school years. I almost didn't complete all that, but I stuck by it, despite having a learning disability.
These days I don't work and I still live at home. It's a miracle that I haven't killed myself yet. I get depressed at times but I work towards my goals, which is making enough money to move out of town to be closer to my friends.

What I'm saying is if you do poorly in school you can still make something of yourself. When I left school and before I started college I could not string a sentence together and still couldn't get my head around punctuation. I even relearned maths and further down the track I picked up my dad's old film camera, and now I'm on my 3rd camera, which is a digital SLR, and that piece of equipment along with my skills will get me somewhere. I've only made up to $100 on shoots, which rarely happens, but now my work is public and a member of government is offering me work. None of my teachers at school would have ever thought that the slowest and most underachieving student in their class would be doing that.

So, don't give up, even if it's tough now. People can go through the worst situations and come out a better person.
And I have from time to time thought about killing myself.

For right now forget about the future. No one knows what will happen in the future.
Find something right now that you can work on to make someone's life better. For now,
let the future take care of itself, while you explore what you can do right here, right now,
to make the world better.

I've been thinking about suicide for months now, I keep fantasizing about killing myself although somehow I know I'll never actually do it. I can't even function anymore, I can't do my homework or practice guitar or even pay attention to the T.V. anymore.
It's really all a matter of never hanging out with anyone. It's not like anyone in my family could ever fill that void anyway. Luckily my social skills are coming along great these days so I just need to hurry up and take responsibility for my own social life. So I hope you find the strength to solve your problems dude.

The good thing about the future is that it isn't today, and it's not tonight. It will wait for you. So you don't need to worry about that right now. You worry about what is happening in this moment. Sometimes that means you need to sleep on it because night is obviously not your best time for thinking. Maybe it's early morning or in the afternoon when you feel more productive and things seem more clear. Just keep in mind that when you feel this way, it's just a moment, it's not your future. Hugs.

You feel suicidal because you believe you have nothing to live. Find something to live for and you're suicidal urge should vacate.

Well i have been studying japanese very hard for the past months (sore wa mazukashii), i also like drawing but i don't have the space for it (believe me if i say this)

Anyway just got back home from school, today whas pretty much even more frustrating than yesterday. Thanks for all of the support. The thing that keeps me up all the time is "it can ALWAYS be worse" i have alot but there will always be worse (think about the kids who grow up as childsoldier) Also my mother wanted to go to a shrink today and get medications (which she denied was drugs) she might not have know that (no wonder if they sell it like its candy these days...) Also my schoolrapport whas terrible just the worst ever

i don't think i will be that lucky tbh i think that only a miracle could help me
Luckely its weekend that helps ALOT ^^
too bad there is a lot going on these days i wish i could just rewind everything and be a 8 year old again, when i didn't released anything


Have you tried St. John's wort?<--whats that?

St. John's Wort is a plant that has some chemicals that are rumored to help with depression. I believe there have been studies that show it doesn't really help. You have to be careful with herbal remedies, because many times they are not regulated by the govt. agencies, so you don't know what is really in them. And the potency of one plant might be stronger than another. Don't start taking it unless you have read a lot (not just one article, but several articles from different sources - like scientific journals.) Some herbal remedies can be poisonous if you take them incorrectly. So be really careful.

A quicker remedy that has been proven to help with depression is getting daily exercise - especially in the sunshine. Some people suffer from depression that is caused simply by a lack of sunlight, and they can be helped by spending time in the sun or putting one of those "all spectrum lights" inside their room (I wonder if "all spectrum" includes the autism spectrum ) When you get some good exercise like walking, where your heart rate and breathing rate are elevated for 30 minutes, your body starts to produce natural chemicals that change the chemistry of your brain -- it makes you feel better naturally, so there are no bad side effects (except maybe some sore muscles if you haven't used them much for a while )

Keep us posted on how you are doing.

Certain B vitamins can also help - particularly B6 but you should take them together in a complex to avoid an imbalance. You need to also be careful not to overdose and also to take the correct forms (for example some forms of B3(niacin) can cause uncomfortable (but non-harmful) sensations - it happened to me lol)

I second this. Please try St. John's Wort.

Almost all herbs have virtually no side effects - especially when compared with their pharmaceutical counterparts. There are very few even slightly dangerous herbs and St. John's Wort is not one of them. St. John's Wort is perfectly safe and I would urge you to find some immediately. Try it. If you don't like it, stop using it.

St. John's Wort works directly on the nerves and pain receptors of the body. I also suspect it has some effect on hormone regulation either directly or indirectly. I am currently researching that. It's known to be a rather weak herb...yet remarkably effective. Please do try it. In my experience, it has a very slight numbing effect especially if there is severe pain in any part of your body. The herb seems to target wherever the pain is - and numbs or decreases it. It is also very mildly euphoric meaning that if you are extremely unhappy, it tends to reverse that and make you just a little happy to be alive. The benefits of this herb cannot be overstated.

I think Bea's cautionary advice is totally uncalled for. However I did one time take the herb Chapparal which is a very potent or strong herb sometimes used for cancer treatment. It made me nauseous. Even so, the side effects of Chapparal can't even be compared with the side effects of chemo. What Bea said about sunlight is true. Sunlight and Vitamin D calm the nerves and promote deep relaxation and healing on a deep level. Deficiency of sunlight has been scientifically proven to cause depression. Warm baths or showers are also soothing and relaxing. Hot tub or hot springs, mineral baths good too.

There's something else you might try with absolutely no side effects. It's called Rescue Remedy and it is a Bach Flower Remedy. In my opinion Rescue Remedy is the next best thing to Nitrous Oxide. It's of course not nearly as strong, but it has a similar effect. After taking a few doses of Rescue Remedy, I don't really care much about anything except smiling a little and feeling better. Then gradually - in a few hours or days - you can begin taking care of whatever lapsed while you were feeling funky.

When we get anxious and suicidal, time compresses or goes slower. Everything seems to be pressing in on us and hurting us. When we feel suicidal it is usually because we can't endure the pain any longer and seek an immediate release from the pain. So every minute takes an eternity. Both St. John's Wort and Rescue Remedy reverse this scenario.....dilating time back to normal....So that you experience each minute lasting as a normal minute --not too long and not too short. We all know that when we're having fun, time passes quickly. So anything that will make time pass more quickly for you will probably also tend to make you happier.

Sorry, but St. John's Wort is also known as a weed that poisons livestock.
Like I said before, be careful when using herbal remedies. Plants can be very toxic.

Yes, but in the same way animals can eat certain things we can't, we can eat certain things animals can't.

From the University of Maryland Medical Center website:

[/quote]
Precautions
The use of herbs is a time-honored approach to strengthening the body and treating disease. Herbs, however, contain active substances that can trigger side effects and interact with other herbs, supplements, or medications. For these reasons, herbs should be taken with care, under the supervision of a practitioner knowledgeable in the field of botanical medicine.

Many people take St. John's wort for depression. It is important to bear in mind that depression can be a serious condition and may be accompanied by thoughts of suicide or homicide, both of which warrant immediate medical attention. Evaluation by a healthcare professional should always be sought before using St. John's wort.

Potential side effects from St. John's wort are generally mild. They include stomach upset, hives or other skin rash, fatigue, restlessness, headache, dry mouth, and feelings of dizziness or mental confusion. Although not common, St. John's wort can also make the skin overly sensitive to sunlight (called photodermatitis). Those with light skin who are taking St. John's wort in large doses or over a long period of time should be particularly careful about sun exposure. The use of sunscreen with a skin protection factor (SPF) of at least 15, and the avoidance of sunlamps, tanning booths, or tanning beds is recommended while taking St. John's wort.

Because of the potential for serious interaction with medications used during surgery, patients should discontinue the use of St. John's wort at least 5 days prior to surgery and should avoid taking it post surgery. See Possible Interactions for more information about mixing St. John's wort and medications.

St. John's wort should not be taken by women who are pregnant, trying to become pregnant, or breastfeeding.

Possible Interactions
St. John's wort interacts with a range of medications. In most cases, this interactions leads to reduced the effectiveness of the medication in question; in other cases, however, St. John's wort may increase the effects of a medication.

If you are currently being treated with any of the following medications, you should not use St. John's wort without first talking to your healthcare provider: anti-depressants, Digoxin, immunosuppressive medications, Indinavir and other protease inhibitors, Loperamide, Oral contraceptives, Reserpine, Theophylline, Warfarin [quote]

According to this information, prescribing both St. John's Wort and increased sun exposure at the same time may not be wise. Like I said before, don't take it until you have researched the topic thoroughly. (And consult with your doctor/pharmacist if you are on any other medication. St. John's Wort could interfere with it.) Be careful.

I have been there too, having spent countless nights worrying about the future, and how pointless life is. Before I knew what aspergers was I thought I was the only one who's life was so screwed up, only to learn that this is part of the condition of AS.
Is there any hope for you or any of us, well I don't think there is an answer to that, it does get better somewhat with age and maturity, but giving up on life is definitely not the answer. Life is going to be hard, its not going to be the cake walk we all
hoped it would be, if you f**k up, all you can do is pick yourself up and dust off your clothes and try again.